Domestic violence reports rise, but likely won't peak until sheltering mandates end

On Monday night in Laconia, a significant other returning from work got into an argument over his girlfriend not doing the laundry.  He hit her with a pillow and smashed her cell phone when she tried to call 911.

On the rail trail in Franklin, a bystander called police when a jealous ex-boyfriend wielding a knife threatened his former girlfriend, who sprayed him with pepper spray and ran off.

The sparks that ignite domestic violence are as varied as the reasons for discord and disagreements: failing relationships, loss of income or work, conflicts over parenting or home responsibilities, jealousy and infidelity.  And the coronavirus – with directives to shelter-at-home and avoid unnecessary outings or contact – is proving to be a boon to abusers who strive to control the activities, social access and whereabouts of their intimate partners, including spouses and children. It’s also a barrier to victims reporting.

“Many people just hunker down and wait until it’s over. We’ll see a big surge (to police and crisis centers) when stay-at-home orders are lifted and people can leave” and resume their lives, said Allison Randall, vice president for policy and emerging issues at the National Network to End Domestic Violence. During national emergencies, “When people have fewer resources (including money and places to go) and there’s less accountability for perpetrators (with courts closed), people are just trying to stay safe and get through this.”

Kathy Keller, executive director of New Beginnings Without Violence and Abuse in Laconia, said the number of calls to its shelter and hotline decreased during the first two weeks of the state’s emergency measures, but are starting to tick back up” as the effects of spending time together at home are wearing thin. The center is fielding three to six requests daily for emergency shelter or hotel accommodations. “I think it’s been several weeks now that people have been cooped up together. It’s just bubbling to the surface.”

Mothers are calling about young children and trying to keep them safe. “Usually school is a savior,” Keller said. “Now families don’t even have that.”

With the $600,000 in emergency funding Gov. Chris Sununu released in late March to aid domestic violence victims and keep crisis centers operational during the coronavirus, each of the state’s 13 regional women’s domestic violence shelters and crisis centers is at capacity, housing new victims in area hotels, and paying for food and transportation as necessary, according to the New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence.

“We stay on track and check on people daily remotely –  they seem to be doing OK,” Keller said.

Detective Kendall Poirier, the domestic violence officer at the Franklin Police Department, said the department received 69 domestic disturbance calls in March, resulting in five arrests. That was more than the 55 calls they received in March 2019, which produced nine arrests. The calls run the gamut from asking questions to reports of assaults to petitions for restraining orders. During the last two months of COVID restrictions, there have been more protective order requests, she said.

“For the moment we haven’t seen a huge upsurge in the numbers” of domestic disturbances, Chief David Goldstein said. “What we’re concerned about is what will happen when all of this starts to subside and we get back to the new normal.” That’s when the department expects a deluge of past and present incident reports. Right now, people in volatile, dysfunctional relationships “are united because they need each other, or the resources they bring to the table” – and are walking on eggshells, maintaining peace in a difficult situation that affects everyone, increases opportunities for abuse."

Franklin has a significant domestic violence problem “during normal times” that is comparable in incidents per population to Manchester, Goldstein said. “Drug and alcohol abuse, poverty and financial pressures are an underlying feature that can raise its ugly head” – which is no different from anywhere else, he said. Right now victims are laying low because “we need the protection and security of a home and a roof over our head.”

Tilton police have witnessed a small increase in domestic violence calls and requests for involuntary emergency admissions to hospitals for suicidality and mental health crises, which are peaking for depression and anxiety sufferers as the effects of isolation and job loss wear on.

“With coronavirus, people are inside more – working from home or not working, not being able to do what they usually do or go where they usually go – and there’s increased substance abuse,” said Laconia Police Chief Matt Canfield. Calls to respond to domestic disturbances were higher in Laconia in March and April than in previous months and the same time last year; the department responded to 55 domestic incidents in April and eight violations of restraining orders, and calls for five suicidal individuals.  Of Laconia PD’s 60 to 70 calls during 24 hours, about 25 percent are for domestic disturbances, Canfield said.

“The causes can stem from anything and everything.  Arguments over kids or money. Some people are like oil and water and just don’t mix. In relationships there are jealousy issues, flirting or speaking on the internet. All are triggers that cause people to flip. You take jealousy and rage and couple that with alcohol and drugs, it just ramps it up more,” Canfield said.

Domestic disturbances are among the most dangerous and unpredictable situations police respond to “because they’re always so fluid and can change so quickly. “Sometimes people need to be arrested to break that cycle and get the family into court-mandated help.”

Perpetrators and victims cross all demographics, education and income levels – and don’t necessarily live in less-advantaged locales. “We go in tough and challenged neighborhoods, and in high-end, beautiful homes where people have lots of money. We’ve arrested doctors and lawyers,” said Canfield.

COVID-19 has given free rein to abusers who use it as an excuse to prevent spouses and children from leaving the house and seeing family and friends, which has resulted in fewer calls for help because victims lack privacy to reach out, said Keller at New Beginnings. The women’s crisis center ordinarily serves 800 to 900 people each year through its hotline, advocacy, and shelter stays which can last six to twelve months.

Currently, women are balking at filing restraining orders because they have no place to go, and are afraid of retaliation at home, Keller said. “They know what the perpetrator is like, what it takes to blow the fuse, and they just have to deal with it.”

 The abuse plays out in subtle, egregious ways, including refusing to let victims go to medical or mental health appointments, not letting the state’s Division of Children, Youth and Families interview family members to check on allegations of abuse or neglect. Sometimes it is centered on small incidents, such as not cooking a meal the way someone wants it, just to reinforce authority and exert control.

Being sequestered together during the coronavirus “puts everyone on edge and makes everything more unstable,” Keller said. Abusers “have more ways of controlling with COVID-19.”

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The Sunshine Project is underwritten by grants from the Endowment for Health, New Hampshire’s largest health foundation, and the New Hampshire Charitable Foundation. Roberta Baker can be reached by email at Roberta@laconiadailysun.com