Our Neighbors: Woman finds peace after quadruple amputation

MOULTONBOROUGH — Wendy Wallace has a message: if she can overcome her setback, anyone can persevere through the trials of life.

Wallace, a mother of three, was nearly killed by a rare bacterial infection in April of 2011. What began as a strange swelling near her hip progressed to severe pain the next day, and the day after her husband, Mike, tried to drive her to Lakes Region General Hospital, only to pull over halfway there to call an ambulance when she started having trouble breathing. She was flown to the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, where doctors put her into a coma and told Mike that she might not survive.

Wendy, an Ohio girl, met Mike in California. She was studying finance, he was in the military. After they had their first child, Michael Jr., they moved back to Mike’s hometown of Moultonborough, where they live today. The Wallaces had already faced one medical ordeal, in 1999, when Wallace was treated for breast cancer. All of their children were younger than 10 at the time, and she said  her faith in God took away all worry that she wouldn’t live to see her kids grow up.

Again, she said, her faith carried her through 12 years later, when doctors woke her from the coma to tell her that they needed to amputate both hands and both feet if they were to give her a chance to survive.

That was more than eight years ago, and Wallace said her life now is remarkably similar to her life before the infection took her extremities.

“People who know me, they don’t even see me as a person with problems,” she said. “Sometimes I even catch myself in the mirror,” with surprise, she said, to see that her arms end just past her elbows, and her legs below her knees.

That surprise is because Wallace has found a way to do just about everything she used to do – cooking is the one notable exception – and she’s found that people in the community treat her much the same.

“Nowadays, people who don’t know me, they’re pretty accepting,” she said. “There’s still people who stare and make comments, but they’ll do that for anybody. But I think I’m such an encouragement for a lot of people, because I did bounce back.”

That bounceback took a lot of work, though. From that first ride to the hospital, it was several weeks before Wallace could come home. Then she used a wheelchair for months, until she was fitted for prosthetic legs. The first set of legs allowed her to walk on flat ground, but she had difficulty on more complicated terrain. Her current legs, though – with a hydraulic articulating ankle – give her the ability to stride out the door and explore.

She can drive, too, thanks to some modifications to her vehicle. The primary way that she interacts with the world, though, is through her blog, One Exceptional Life, which can be found at oneexceptionallife.com.

Wallace started her blog as she was adjusting to her life post-amputation.

“The blog has been huge for healing. My objective has been to connect to people with obstacles in their life,” she said. She blogs about positivity, overcoming, and Christian living. “And I have an amputee section on there as well.”

Through her blog posts, she sheds light on life as an amputee. One post, which she published on Nov. 7, tackles the issue of disability etiquette.

She wrote, “‘When I’m feeling sorry for myself and think about my own aches and pains, I think about you and then I don’t feel so bad.’ Believe it or not, this is a regular comment that I have gotten since I first received my amputations. This is probably the best example of poor disability etiquette that I’ve experienced."

The blog post continued, “I always have a smile on my face, even when times are tough. I think by having a positive outlook, I make having no hands or feet look easy. It’s really not. I just choose not to complain about it. But a comment like that is very hurtful. They make it seem like I’m so much worse off than they are. Maybe I am, but I don’t look at it that way and I really don’t want to be told that I am.”

She said that her positive mindset is by choice: “If you fall down, you get back up. Sometimes it takes a little bit longer.”

Her experience as a person with disability has reinforced her adherence to the Golden Rule, to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. “The whole, be kind to everyone, thing, is important. Regardless of their beliefs, how they look, whether they have limitations, treat them how you’d like to be treated. There is a lot of hatred in the world right now, and it doesn’t have to be like that.”

Accepting the challenge

Geoff Krill, director of Holderness-based Eastern Adaptive Sports, said Wallace’s success post-amputation is typical of people who make the choice to overcome their disability.

“It’s a challenge. You don’t really have another choice. Some people don’t deal well with the choice. You just take that first step forward, that’s the difference,” said Krill, who is a parapalegic and active member of the Professional Ski Instructors of America. He said there are more accommodations and technologies than ever that allow people to follow their passions even after a disability. “It softens the blow in a lot of different ways. It may not be exactly the same, but the opportunity to participate in a high level is still there.”

While some might consider the world divided into people who are disabled and people who aren’t, Krill said everyone has their own areas of ability and disability.

“People are undergoing lots of challenges, some are hidden. However they take on their life, they have challenges. What really makes a person is their ability to take that, and continue on their path to happiness and life.” When he speaks at events that include the able-bodied, Krill said he often makes the point, “You all are going to end up in wheelchairs or on crutches at some point, the difference is that I’m really good at it.”

Wallace said she struggled at times with how she would be able to build a fulfilling life. She’s grateful for the help she receives from her husband and community, and for her faith. She even has some gratitude for her disability.

“I guess it’s a gift, it’s given me an opportunity to witness for others and to give people an opportunity to overcome things.”