Near Memorial Day, a memorable reunion

TILTON — What initially brought Ron and Eveleen Barcomb together was a dance called the Electric Slide.

They met almost 20 years ago at an event for singles hosted by WZID radio at The Radisson in Manchester.  Eveleen asked Ron to dance because he was too shy. 

“I said, ‘That’s the guy I want. If he knows the Electric Slide, he’s mine,” said Eveleen, who was an ardent practitioner of the popular line dance created in 1976 to match the song "Electric Boogie."

Ron didn’t ask for Eveleen for her number that evening. But three months later they found each other at another singles dance.

He said, “I know you.”

She said, “I know you, too.”

He said, “You’re not getting away this time.”

“The rest is history,” said Eveleen. “I think that’s why I need hip surgery now – because I danced too much.”  The theme song at their wedding reception 16 years ago was “Could I Have This Dance For The Rest Of my Life?” by Anne Murray.  A year later, for his birthday, she gave him the CD.  “We’d ask for it whenever we’d go dancing” – which was often, but never seemed often enough.

On Friday when they got together, there was no timidity or loss for words. The dance moves occurred only in their minds.

“We love each other,” said Ron, as Eveleen maneuvered his wheelchair into The Tilt’n Diner for breakfast. Patrons held open the door and one tall man pushed Ron’s chair over the door saddle.

It was a celebratory event.

After 15 months without being able to leave on any type of outing, Ron, who is 72 and has lived at the NH Veterans Home for 10 years, was able to spend the day with Eveleen, 67, who works full time as a financial planner and manages their home in Goffstown. After more than year without being able to leave the grounds, having their favorite eggs and bacon breakfast together felt like a new first in life.

“It feels strange,” said Eveleen, who was overjoyed at being able to spend the day with her husband, which was to include lunch and a movie at Smitty’s.

“It’s great,” said Ron. “She spoils me rotten.”

As veterans and their loved ones and admirers across the country celebrate Memorial Day – a time to remember those who sacrificed their lives fighting for this country – residents at the NH Veterans Home are rejoicing in their own hard-won battle. The coronavirus resulted in unprecedented isolation, an interminable spell when visits with spouses and family members were held by FaceTime, Skype or through the community room window only. The result was a drought of hugs and human touch – the physical signs of love and caring – and a suffocating halt to interaction with the outside world. The caring and contact is what keeps the vets going.

For Ron, the day also brought a surprise reunion with his fellow veteran and buddy, Ron Menard, 58, a former U.S. Marine who lives in Tilton. Menard has been visiting Barcomb at the Veterans Home for years and driving him to veteran fundraisers, social events and meetings of Vietnam Veterans of America, Chapter 992, which is open to veterans of all conflicts, not just Vietnam.

At age 17, Barcomb enlisted in the US Army and became a jeep and generator mechanic stationed in Vietnam’s demilitarized zone for a year during a height of the conflict known as the Tet Offensive. In that single year, Barcomb advanced from E1 to E5, from private to sergeant, and earned the designation of Expert Rifleman – a level of marksmanship that became key to his own survival.

“The scariest thing was being overrun. The enemy soldiers came running into our site, in the middle of the day and started shooting at us. I went to get my gun and started shooting back. It was the only thing we could do,”  Barcomb remembered. “You never knew what was going to happen day to day” on the front lines, sandwiched between enemy troops from the north and Vietnamese villages in the south, a land of jungle and woods and eerie quiet pockmarked by sudden explosions and gunfire.

“I was scared most of the time,” Barcomb said.

Surprise attacks were common. Not yet an adult, Barcomb kept his rifle nearby. When Communist troops emerged out of nowhere with a sweep of bullets, Barcomb stopped work on an engine and dove for his own gun. One day a mechanic was needed to repair a vehicle stranded in an open field. Another mechanic volunteered to go in Barcomb’s place, but he never came back. It's a grief that haunts Barcomb to this day.

“Memorial Day is about respecting all the soliders that did what they did,” Barcomb said.

Barcomb counts his blessings, including his loving wife, his son who just retired from the US Army after 25 years, and his ability to help his others despite his own physical limitations. Doctors believe the drastic temperature changes during monsoon season, which dropped from 102 degrees in the shade to 60, caused or worsened the arthritis that has crippled Barcomb’s hands, leaving him with near constant pain. But only COVID stopped Barcomb from volunteering. Both Barcomb and Menard sell American flags to benefit fellow veterans each year at the Deerfield Fair and during Motorcycle Week, and they work on the Toys for Tots drive at Christmas. Since roughly 2008, Menard has taken Barcomb out on Tuesdays for donuts and coffee before they head to the NH Veterans’ Center in Hooksett.

“The argument is who’s going to pay for coffee,” said Barcomb.  “We get along very well.” 

Menard served two tours in Beirut from 1982 to 1984 as an infantryman in the Marines, then in the Grenada engagement. When VVA chapter 922  opened its doors to veterans from other conflicts, including Iraq, Afghanistan and the Persian Gulf, Menard joined. It was a way to keep the service organization and mutual support going for new veterans returning from new conflicts.

Menard met Barcomb when asked to give him a ride, and the friendship blossomed from there. “He’s a great guy.  He’s funny. He and I talk about things we wouldn’t talk about with anybody else,” said Menard, who now considers the Barcombs his extended family. “He’s very special, loving, caring and supportive. We don’t necessarily agree on politics. But we can agree to disagree and never talk about it.”

Sometimes their connection is uncanny. When Menard was depressed and disillusioned, “Out of the blue, something pushed him to call me. I try very hard to do something for him. You get used to seeing someone every week for years and years and suddenly you don’t see him” and it feels like a hole, a loss. The pandemic’s isolation was a blow to all vets. Menard said Barcomb has “a great attitude about life and he shares it with anybody. I’m ecstatic that he’s outside that home.”

Both have suffered the seen and unseen casualties of war. They still believe in the mission to serve.

“At the time and even now, I believe in it,” said Menard.  “I wouldn’t like it, but I’d do it again if I had to. Then I’d get out and meet guys like Ron again.”

Barcomb said his year in Vietnam was life-changing.  “I learned a lot when I was in. It was good for me, including the discipline.”

Eveleen said Memorial Day is an enduring reminders “to give honor to everyone who’s given their lives or their time. It’s a sacrifice for their country. I often think about whether I could have done something like that. I’m not sure that I could.”

“It’s time to remember the brothers who didn’t come home,” said Menard, “and remember the guys and girls who are out their now, looking out for us” – including the one sitting across the table.

“Ron is my brother from another mother,” Menard said.

“He wouldn’t let me buy the donuts sometimes,” said Barcomb. “I said, ‘That’s fine with me.’”