Locker rooms, restrooms a sticking point on trans policy

GILFORD — Critics of school transgender inclusion policies in Gilford and Franklin are leery of what they perceive as an invasion of privacy in facilities historically segregated according to sex. 

They say transgender inclusion in restrooms and locker rooms before a policy was officially approved by the Gilford School Board has left many students feeling confused, uncomfortable, divided  – which is at odds with the spirit of inclusion.

“This has been forced on them without a lot of heads up,” said Angelo Farrugia, a Gilford parent of two. “We’re making it a very large issue that’s all-consuming and all-confusing to the children.” Some younger students are anxious or unsure of which bathroom to use – and now wait until they get home from school to go – a practice that’s unhealthy, he said.

Farrugia said a transgender female who last year identified as male growled at his daughter when she went into the girls’ room. Elementary school administrators told her to use a single-occupancy bathroom if she was uncomfortable, he said.

At a public meeting last month at Lakes Region Vineyard Church, one parent who declined to be identified said her son is afraid to use the boys’ room at the elementary school, and instead races home when he gets off the school bus in the afternoon.

At Gilford High, students and teachers fumbled with pronoun use, and restrooms and locker rooms became uncomfortable and chaotic when access based on gender identity started without warning at the start of the school year, according to two Gilford High School students who spoke at the meeting.

“No one mentioned there was a new policy.  I was in the girls’ bathroom and a male walked in. In my opinion, you’re a (transgender male) now, and you look like a male,” said the girl from Gilford High. “It’s not fair that they can go into a male bathroom one day, and a female bathroom the next.”

She described other girls’ experiences: “They had no heads up.  They walked into a locker room and there was a boy sitting there.” Much of the chaos during the first weeks of school involved some boys and girls going into each other’s locker rooms, she said.

The two Gilford High students said roughly 30 percent of students there are comfortable with the policy, while as much as 70 percent are not.  Currently, 0.4 to 1 to 2 percent of people in the US identify as transgender, according to national statistics cited by the American Civil Liberties Union of New Hampshire, which estimates 4,000 transgender people statewide.

In Franklin, the debate over gender-based rights to sex-segregated facilities became more acrimonious.

Nate Moore said his son, a junior at Franklin High, while on his computer at home on a weekend, posted on Snapchat, “Females don’t belong in boys’ bathrooms.” Then he added a screen shot of someone else’s posting: “If a transgender walks into a (male) bathroom, I’m going to kick them out.”

The following Monday local police arrived at Franklin High School to investigate a potential hate crime, he said.  His 16-year-old son was suspended for three days, and told in the future he couldn’t use the school’s male bathrooms, just those in the nurse’s room or main office, according to Moore. When he returned after his suspension and used the boys’ room, the assistant principal followed him in and told him to leave, Moore said.  Franklin school officials didn’t respond to a request for comment left on voicemail.

Through social media the boy’s grandmother contacted her state representative, because she believed excluding him from the boy’s restroom was a violation of his grandson’s civil rights.

State Rep. Werner Horn, whose Merrimack County district includes Franklin, said Thursday that the governor signing SB 263 puts transgender people in the same status as religion and sexual orientation, which makes discrimination against them illegal, and perceived hate speech or discrimination becomes a disciplinary action for schools.

“When you’re adding a statement that you don’t agree with (to a posting online), people will assume that you agree with it, unless you make it clear that you don’t.”  Bathroom use “is an activity where people have an expectation of privacy and security,” Horn said. “I don’t think Franklin should be a test bed for this policy.  We simply don’t have millions to renovate our bathrooms” to single stalls instead of urinals. Elsewhere, “people have felt unsafe with this policy in place.” It requires a huge capital investment to alter facilities, money that would otherwise be spent on educating kids, said Horn, who said he voted against the bill.

Moore, the parent, said he also contacted the state Department of Education, but hasn’t yet heard from a staff member assigned to deal with such issues. 

Moore said in the incident’s aftermath his son has been attacked on social media by transgender-supporting females at Franklin High. When his younger son, a freshman at Franklin High, advocated for his older brother, he was told by school administrators that he, too, could face detention and suspension for non-compliance if he pressed the issue, Moore said. Franklin school officials could not be reached for comment.

“It just aggravates me, honestly,” said Justin, Moore’s older son.  “We should have a say in (the restroom policy), but we don’t.”

“All they’re doing is voicing their opinion and what they don’t want,” said Moore, and now his older son “has a target on his back” at high school. “There’s a rule that all students should be kept safe, but he’s being verbally attacked by students who don’t have his beliefs.”

Parental discontent is not confined to the Lakes Region.  In 2017, the Candia school board voted 3-2 to repeal an inclusion policy adopted by a previous board (some of whose members had been voted out over the issue), stating a desire to find a compromise that could include individualized accommodations. Candia school board members did not return phone calls or email requests for comment. 

Disgruntlement extends beyond schools. Recently, customers complained and some boycotted the Target store in Concord after it made its multi-stall bathrooms inclusive of every sex and gender. The store has since reverted to single-sex restrooms, according to Lakes Region residents. Administrators at Target in Concord declined to comment, and deferred the question instead to national headquarters, which did not respond.

Others worry about safety.  Inclusion in restrooms based on gender identity will apply to members of the public, according to Kirk Beitler, Superintendent of SAU 73, which includes schools in Gilford and Gilmanton Elementary School.

“People aren’t afraid that transgender individuals will go into restrooms and commit crimes or sexual misconduct,” said Farrugia. “They’re worried that sex offenders might gain entry.  It’s allowing someone to hide under the guise of being transgender.  It’s dropping privacy and security in the schools.”