Years after fatal diving accident, Gayle Miller keeps husband’s name alive

LACONIA — The firefighting community came to the aid of Gayle Miller 16 years ago when her husband, Lt. Mark Miller, drowned in a diving accident.

In return, she has tried to help other families going through traumatic loss, and she’s now in the middle of a National Fallen Firefighters Foundation campaign encouraging people to display red lights on homes and businesses to remember firefighters who have died in the line of duty.

The city has taken the effort to heart. Red lights can be seen on dozens of local homes, businesses and fire stations. The foundation’s website shows 53 registered participants from New Hampshire, much more than any other state.

Many more are participating in “Light the Night For Fallen Firefighters,” but haven’t registered in the program, which runs through Oct. 4.

“I know the feeling of being alone after you lose somebody,” Miller said. “They usually die under very traumatic circumstances, and it is hard to deal with that all by yourself. They occur during a fire, or during a training. One was shot this year.

“You think of their brothers, their sisters, their families who are thrown into a nightmare. Think of the 343 firefighters who lost their lives on 9/11.”

A total of 66 firefighters have died in the line of duty so far this year, about one-third after contracting COVID-19 on a call. In all of last year, there were 64 deaths, according to the U.S. Fire Administration. Heart attacks, traffic accidents and firefighting-related injuries contribute to the death toll.

A total of 206 police officers have died this year, 114 because of COVID-19. This compares to 147 total deaths in 2019. Gunfire has claimed 35 lives so far this year, compared to 48 last year.

Miller lost her husband on March 11, 2004. Mark Miller, 43, drowned while testing new diving equipment in the frigid water of Lake Winnipesaukee. A diver with Miller surfaced, but Miller did not come up. A major rescue operation was launched, but he was not found until the next day.

Gayle Miller recalls the outpouring of support she received.

“My community showed me how much they were behind me when Mark died,” she said. “They did so much for me.

“I got letters from all over the world when Mark died. Firefighters from New York City took patches off their shoulders and mailed them to me. They took every dollar in their pocket and shoved it in an envelope. People took time to write letters, and that means a lot to me.”

Miller remains close to the Laconia Fire Department and every year on the anniversary of her husband’s death, she brings firefighters dinner from Fratello’s.

“It’s something nice to do instead of sitting and wallowing in sorrow.”

Miller met her future husband at Lakes Region General Hospital, where she works in the business department. They married in 2000, and he helped raise her three young children from a previous marriage.

He believed in community service.

“He volunteered and went to schools and helped educate, he participated in the Children’s Auction,” Miller said. “He was a great person, more than a firefighter.

“He loved being in the community and was very outgoing. He loved his job more than anything.”

He was also a treasure hunter, a master diver, a snowmobile enthusiast and liked to tinker with cars.

Miller works to keep his name and volunteer spirit alive, participating in fundraising drives and doing whatever she can for the fire department and the police department.

Mark Miller is one of three people from Laconia on the New Hampshire Fallen Firefighter Memorial Honor Roll maintained by the State Firemens Association.

The other two are Maurice Benwell, who died May 5, 1987, while working a pump at the Laconia Water Works, and Milo Judkins, a captain at the Lakeport station who died on Nov. 12, 1949 at the station after returning from a call.

Michele Mayo, Benwell’s daughter, was 21 when he died. Her brother, Joseph Benwell, is a retired firefighter who is participating in the “Light the Night” program.

Like Gayle Miller, Mayo remarked on the close-knit nature of the firefighting community.

“The death of my father was very hard,” she said. “We had also lost our mother.

“We used to all hang out at the Lakeport Station during Bike Week. They were always there for us, and we are still here for them.”

On the Web

Light the Night For Fallen Firefighters: firehero.org

Click here to view the 14th annual NH Fallen Firefighters ceremony.

Mark Miller NIOSH Investigation: cdc.gov/niosh/fire/reports/face200436.html

NH Fallen Firefighter Memorial Honor Roll: nhsfa.org/nh-fallen-firefighter-memorial-honor-roll

U.S. Firefighter Fatalities: apps.usfa.fema.gov/firefighter-fatalities

Officer Down Memorial Page: odmp.org/info/about-odmp