Inter-Lakes upholds non-discrimination policy governing bathrooms, amid community criticism, support

MEREDITH — A policy describing how students access bathrooms and locker rooms, which had been on the books for years, gained newfound attention this year and was recently affirmed by the Inter-Lakes School Board. The policy garnered pointed criticism as well as support from the public.

At the conclusion of a meeting held March 21, the board voted unanimously to leave the policy in place.

The Non-Discrimination Policy, in place since 2017, became the subject of attention earlier this school year because of the ability it grants for students to use facilities in accordance with their gender identity, whether or not that aligns with their sex at birth.

The policy states: “A student or other individual who identifies themselves as transgender under this policy should be permitted to use the restrooms assigned to the gender which the individual consistently asserts at school/work. Any individual who expresses a need for privacy will be provided with reasonable alternative facilities or accommodations such as using a single-occupancy facility. However, no individual shall be required to use a separate single-occupancy facility over the individual’s objection.”

After criticism about how the policy was being applied, the district converted many of its gendered, group bathrooms into non-gendered, single-use bathrooms, with locking doors. The meeting on March 21, held at the Inter-Lakes Auditorium to accommodate a large crowd, was called to give community members an opportunity to discuss the policy before the board formally voted on it.

Several of the people who spoke at the meeting were students.

Peyton, an eighth grader, said she felt the board wasn’t addressing concerns, brought by both students and parents at previous meetings, that the policy could be “misused” by students who wanted to gain access to spaces for reasons other than gender expression. She described a particular situation which she said resulted in students feeling “uncomfortable.”

“I think there needs to be revisions to this policy to help keep students safe and comfortable,” Peyton said.

Another eighth grader, Leah, said the conversion of all bathrooms to universal gender, single-occupancy, was a good solution — “aside from the occasional wait,” she said. Yet, it brought forward new concerns.

“Although this new addition is working, there are still some safety concerns,” Leah said. “Could these new bathrooms make it easier to be harmed? Could someone lock another person in there with them? And, if so, can someone hear them to help? Can the bathrooms be unlocked in an emergency? And, lastly, how do you plan to monitor drug use and vaping?”

Lisa Miles, a Meredith resident and parent of middle schoolers, echoed the safety concern.

“Multiple students can go in and lock the door behind them,” Miles said, asserting that it’s “impossible to monitor” who is entering the bathrooms. She said she doesn’t think it’s “an LGBTQ issue,” but is instead about safety. If something untoward were to happen once inside, “I don’t think anyone could hear that, and I don’t think a teacher would be able to get there and unlock it in time.”

This concern was countered by some at the meeting who listed other local institutions with similar bathroom arrangements for years.

“I work in Moultonborough at the high school. Our bathrooms are all single-stall, they always have been. There has never been an issue with a student being unsafe in the bathrooms,” said Melanie Hodge of Sandwich. Security cameras are positioned to monitor the bathroom doors, and students know it, she said. “It’s not an issue in Moultonborough,” nor is it an issue in just about every home, she noted.

“Single-stall bathrooms make the most sense. I don’t have a boys and girls room in my house. We have a single-stall bathroom and that works,” Hodge said. “We support the school board, support the policy as written. Please stay strong, please keep doing what’s right.”

Meredith parent Ed Twadell said his worries go beyond school grounds, and center around lodging arrangements for overnight trips.

“As a parent, the idea that my children will be housed with students of the opposite gender, whether those children are transgender or not, gives me pause,” Twadell said. “I am further concerned by the idea of an adult of the opposite biological sex, be they transgender or not, being assigned to chaperone my children in an overnight setting, especially without being previously informed. As such, I recommend that the policy be amended to require notification of parents prior to such circumstances occurring.”

But the policy was viewed much differently by eighth grader Sam.

“I present myself as non-binary in the school setting and in my day-to-day life. For me, the bathroom change has given me a lot of comfort in the fact that I no longer have to miss class time when I travel down to the few single-stall bathrooms” that existed prior to the recent conversion of all restroom facilities to single-occupancy. Sam said that what might seem like a basic consideration, such as restroom access, has considerable implications. Without a convenient way to use the bathroom, the additional travel and wait time affected their academic capabilities, which, in turn, had a negative effect on their mental health.

“When I go to an event or when I go into these newly installed bathrooms, I feel that my voice is heard, that my comfort is valued inside of these school walls. And I think that the fact that people who exhibit similar gender identities as me or similar preferences as me, to use a gender bathroom that is not limited to their biological sex — which has nothing to do with gender — is extremely valid and important,” Sam said.

They added that validation was just as important while traveling during school events, such as during a recent robotics competition.

“We book hotels and they are often separated by gender and grade, and I feel that the people I am roomed with feel comfortable in that space with me. That is something that I am eternally grateful for, to be accepted by my community that I am with and the space that I am in, and that my gender is valid within the school space that I present myself within,” Sam said.

Gus, a student who lives in an Inter-Lakes community but who attends a different school, said, “At my school, we have only all-gender bathrooms ... and we’ve never had a problem,” Gus said. “Although we don’t want it to be, this is a LGBTQ+ issue,” Gus said, adding that people arguing over the policy might not even understand terms such as transgender, or gender queer. “I think this goes beyond gendered bathrooms or an issue of gendered activity in sports, it has to do with education. It has to do with an understanding that our community owes to each other. ... I think a lot of this discussion has to do with people not understanding each other.”