Formerly unhoused, Laconia resident now collecting coats for others

LACONIA — When this calendar year began, Melissa Keller was living in a tent, facing legal trouble and caught in the stranglehold of substance misuse disorder. Today, she is more than nine months sober, living in a safe environment and looking forward to a brighter future.

It’s a remarkable reversal of circumstances, one she credits to programs and individuals who were able to help guide her onto and along the path to recovery. That path continues, but she's far enough along to be able to reach back and offer a hand to people who are where she once was. Her first effort is what she calls the “Give Back to My Community Project,” a winter coat drive timed to coincide with the arrival of winter weather in the Lakes Region.

Keller’s goal is to collect at least 100 adult-sized winter jackets, which will be distributed to people living in sober homes. The drive began earlier this week, and will run through Friday, Dec. 6.

Collection boxes are located at five locations in the city: Randy’s Pit Stop Diner on Union Avenue, The Flip Side restaurant on Main Street, Navigating Recovery on Court Street, HealthFirst on Church Street and Horizons Counseling Center on Beacon Street West.

12 years

Keller, 42, grew up in Laconia. She said things started to spiral for her 12 years ago.

“I got divorced in 2012, that’s pretty much where my drug addiction got started and went crazy.” Keller lost access to her sons, who are now both adults, and to her home. Her increasing drug usage brought with it legal entanglements. She caught a sales charge after providing a dose to a friend, and got pulled over when she had drugs in her possession. As a result of these behaviors she was in and out of jail during those years. She even spent a year in state prison after violating her probation.

Those incarcerations were periods of abstinence for her. Because it was forced sobriety, it didn’t stick.

“When you go to jail, it’s easier to be off drugs,” Keller said. She didn’t have to make the choice to stay clean, that choice was imposed on her. Upon her release, the old habits were waiting for her as soon as she left the jail’s doors.

“It’s in your environment where it’s around you every day, that makes it harder to quit doing drugs,” she said. “Out here, it’s a fight, it’s a trigger every day.”

She’s winning that fight, thanks to the Belknap County Recovery Court and Horizons Counseling Center, which provides case management for the program.

Recovery Court offers people facing prosecution for certain drug-related offenses an alternative to the usual sentence of jail time and probation. Instead, they enter an intensive, multiphase program which requires them to engage in counseling, meetings and weekly check-ins with a judge. If they follow the program, participants can avoid jail time, but it requires a steep commitment that includes up to 25 hours of programming each week for many months.

Kerrie Johnson, case manager for Recovery Court participants, said only certain candidates qualify for the program. Violent offenders are excluded and any criminal charges must be linked to substance misuse disorder.

“In lieu of having to serve a prison sentence for their charges, they are able to expunge their charges,” Johnson said. “It’s a huge opportunity.”

It also comes with an intimidating requirement: quit using. Unlike jail time, though, it also forces people to examine the reasons why they used drugs.

Keller said when she was deciding whether or not to accept the invitation to enter Recovery Court, going to jail actually looked like the easier option.

“I didn’t want to quit doing drugs,” Keller said. “But then again, I was done with the lifestyle. It was a fight and I wanted help.” She now calls accepting the invitation “the best decision I ever made.”

Keller joined Recovery Court in January. By that point, heroin, fentanyl and methamphetamine use had brought her to living in the woods near the Route 11 Bypass. Her health had deteriorated to the point where she couldn’t stand up straight.

She now has a healthy posture and lives in The Compass House, a sober home in the city. But some of the most profound changes to her life are internal.

“I’ve learned to love myself better,” Keller said. “I’ve learned how to set my boundaries with people, effective communication, and I’m able to forgive myself for the things that I’ve done.”

Looking back, she sees just how much support she has received to this point. Some of the first steps were material — before she could begin the difficult and necessary work of treatment and therapy, she needed to be warm and safe.

The illness of substance misuse had taken nearly everything from her. When Keller was experiencing homelessness, she didn’t have a winter coat. She knows many people in recovery who also don’t have a jacket to fend off the cold. Such material deficiencies can make the prospect of recovery even more daunting — it’s hard to think about sobriety when basic survival is such a challenge.

What Keller has learned, though, is recovery isn’t something she has to face alone. It will continue to be a challenge, but she has already started building a network to call on for help. She wants others to feel that same kind of support, which is why she is organizing a coat drive.

If she could reach back in time and communicate with her younger self, Keller said she would say that recovery is possible.

“It’s not easy but it can be done, you’ve just got to believe in yourself and the process,” Keller said. “I never thought I’d be able to do it, and here I am today. It’s an amazing feeling to accomplish, and it does get easier. You can get so much and you can give back so much. This program is amazing, and you can get help.”