'Be Mine'

I was in a friend’s kitchen On Sunday, assisting with brunch preparations and noticed a chalkboard with a list of weekly chores followed by dates and, at the bottom in script: "This home doesn’t do Valentine’s Day."

My friend has two female roommates, women I haven’t met, and when I read this he just laughed.

I have always loved Valentine’s Day because it’s about designing cards, writing verse, reading Shakespeare, devouring dark chocolate and having an excuse, if one requires one, for organizing an elegant, romantic dinner, wearing taffeta and lace.

There are, of course, reasons one might reject the thought of Valentine’s Day. Like Christmas and Halloween, it has become much too commercial. Beginning in January we are confronted with boxes of heart-shaped chocolates, heart-shaped gold and diamond pendants and racks of cards. From statistics I’ve read, literally billions of dollars are spent on flowers, entertaining, jewelry and candy around Feb. 14.

It is, I expect, perceived as a holiday for men to entice women through bouquets of roses and gifts wrapped in red, and a feminist would want to reject this notion. Saint Valentine's Day, or the Feast of Saint Valentine, began as a Western Christian feast honoring two saints named Valentius, so it can be rejected on religious grounds as well.

When I think of Valentine’s Day, love comes to mind. That complicated, elusive feeling of grace that leads to acceptance and renewal. If only love could be packaged in heart-shaped boxes, ordered through a 1-800 number and shipped through Amazon.

It is mid-February, the days are longer and when the sky is blue and the sun reflects off the snow one is reminded that soon the weather will shift and we can stuff our gloves into a pocket, unbutton our jackets and leave the puffy coat behind.

Remember when you brought Valentine cards to school and stuffed them through a slit into a box covered with red and pink crepe paper? There was a card for everyone. Or the candies with words like “Be Mine” stamped on tiny heart shapes? Yes, Valentine’s Day is commercial and possibly old-fashioned, like so many other objects and experiences now.

In my house we do celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day – may it be filled with love, dark chocolate and poetry.

•••

Elizabeth Howard is an author and journalist. Her books include: Ned O’Gorman: A Glance Back, a book she edited (Easton Studio Press, 2015), A Day with Bonefish Joe (David R. Godine, 2015), Queen Anne’s Lace and Wild Blackberry Pie, (Thornwillow Press, 2011). She lives in New York City