Tom DiFonzo's battle is over but his legacy lives on

To The Daily Sun,

Tom DiFonzo’s death was shocking to some and sad to all, yet beautiful for him.

Truth is, I didn’t know Tom very well, even though I had been a member of Laconia Country Club for over 16 years and he the superintendent of the course for 17 years. Sure, we shared niceties and said hello and waived. Since his diagnosis with throat cancer I was lucky enough to call him my friend. He knew I had struggled with cancer. We agreed to meet and have breakfast where I told him the details of my battle. I encouraged him but warned him that he was in a for a tough battle himself. He knew it was going to be tough and also knew that he was not in control.

I visited him during a chemo infusion at LRGH in Laconia. His dad was at his side. Tom offered me part of his lunch, but I declined, he needed it more. That was his pattern, always concerned about others.

Colleen and I saw him at Mass at St. Andre Bessette in Laconia. Afterword he asked me how I was and then told us a little of his struggle. He loved Fr. Marc Drouin and met with him. Tom had returned to his strong faith and believed in the power of prayer.

Colleen and I ran into Tom with his brother and sister at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. I was there for a check-up and Tom for more chemo. We were both very happy to see each other in the compassion of Dana-Farber.

On the course we would spot each other. He would come motoring across with his dog Moe, sometimes three fairways or more. Knowing my health challenges post cancer, he would grill me about how I was doing. He would also ask about the greens and the course. Finally, I’d have to pry out of him how he was doing.

Early in the 2018 season he motored up to three of us on course with the biggest grin on his face. His new chemo was working, and the tumor was shrinking. The grin vanished as he said that could change. All three of us told him the same thing: celebrate the good news because no one knows what tomorrow may bring. Sadly, that would be his last good news.

Again, I had the privilege of visiting my friend in Boston at a Dana-Farber’s isolated cancer pods at Brigham and Women’s Hospital where I had spent a lot of time. He was happy to see me and asked about me and the course. Then he told me he was dying and that he was scared to tell his daughters and scared for them.

Two weeks later he was in Merrimack, NH Hospice. I brought him Holy Communion and promised him that he was prayed for among the sick and dying. He loved that and couldn’t thank me enough. It took him a long time to swallow the Eucharist. Then he told me that had been the first thing he had eaten in three weeks. It was probably the last thing also. He died days later.

On this last visit he told me he wasn’t scared anymore and that he was comfortable in that beautiful setting. He broke the news to his girls. They were very sad but understanding. He had made amends with the mother of his daughters and she was very compassionate.

His battle is over, but his legacy lives on. He worked at LCC until weeks before his death. He proposed and named his replacement. Tom, named, worked with and trained his replacement until the end, much to the benefit of LCC. The course maintenance building now bears Tom’s name.

The support and dear friendship of Stephanie Vangjel was important to both of them until the end. She still spends time with his daughters often.

Tom was far from perfect, but I will miss his smiling face. Death is sad, especially at age 49, but in this case beautiful. His pain is gone, he made amends, he named and trained his successor, he returned to his faith and the last thing he ate was the Precious Body and Blood of Christ.

Tom Garrity

Laconia