To The Daily Sun,
I'll admit that this icy, wet winter has dragged on too long. I keep waiting for warmer weather to melt the snow but — admittedly — I'm impatient. So I gathered several Laconia Daily Suns — especially those with letters from Bob Meade, Steve Earle, Jim Mayotte, John Demakowski, and Bruce Jenket — and I went outside and waved those papers over the glacial snow. It WORKED! All that hot air flowed straight out of the newspaper and started melting snow.
I tried Michelle Malkin's stuff but it kept attracting skunks. Afterwards I shredded those papers because not only is it so much hot air, it is also rich in dung. I've used the Weirs Times in that regard for several years. Now I'm saving them both to grow tomatoes.
Who says Republicans are useless?