Dana Merrithew: Families grieve harder without the chance to say goodbye

To The Daily Sun,

A few years back I had a dog named Jake. Jake was one of those big lovable dogs that went with me wherever he could. Dog lovers know the kind of relationship we had together. Jake lived to be 15 years old, old for a large dog. One day I found him awake but unable to get up. It appeared obvious to me that Jake had suffered a stroke. I watched him through the day and realized he was in his last day. I called the vet to come to the house. The vet confirmed my impression and offered to euthanize him there at home. I held Jake’s head in my lap while the vet administered the medication. Jake died peaceably and I buried him in my backyard. I always felt that I did my best for Jake that day. Being with him at that last minute was important for me and I believe was important for Jake.

Now we are experiencing the worst pandemic of our lifetime. People, especially the elderly, are dying in large numbers. We as medical professionals are doing our best to care for them, or are we? The most heartbreaking stories I hear these days are from people who have lost loved ones from Covid-19 while in a medical setting. For fear of spreading this contagion, no one is allowed to visit their loved ones even on the brink of death. This is a punishment I would not wish on my dog. I know there is a risk of further increasing the transmission of the virus by any unnecessary contact with an infected patient. The question is what is an acceptable risk and who is necessary? A spouse or child of a dying patient, properly outfitted with PPE is no more a risk than a physician, nurse, or any other frontline worker. I would argue that to that patient and the family, they are more necessary than we are.

We as physicians are sworn to put our patients first. We treat the whole patient not just their disease. People are born into family and community. They do not thrive alone. Families grieve much harder if they do not get the chance to say goodbye. It is time to reconsider our policies in hospitals and nursing facilities even if we must use more of our precious PPE resources to do so.

Dana Merrithew, MD FACP

Rumney