'Saving Mama' tells of a life in Laconia, with pets

LACONIA — As a girl, Claire Hebert-Dow thought she had a plan to navigate her life: do well in school, find a husband, raise a family in the community she loved. But when the path she took had twists she didn’t expect, she found herself without a roadmap and, though she managed to find her way, she took some wrong turns to get there.

In “Saving Mama,” her recently-published memoir, she realizes that although she felt alone for parts of her adult life, she had some co-pilots along the way. Her cats and dogs were always there for her, whether she knew it or not, to wrap themselves around her ankles when she came home, to guard their home against passing cats or intruders, and to give her something warm and furry to hold. In her memoir, Hebert-Dow wonders: Could it be that they were also doing more?

Of course, animals can do quite a bit for their human companions. Hebert-Dow, who raised thousands of dollars for local police K9 programs in previous work, is continuing that effort with “Saving Mama.” A portion of proceeds from the sale of the book will be donated to help K9 and comfort dog programs for local police and fire departments.

Hebert-Dow will hold a launch party for “Saving Mama” 2-4 p.m., on Saturday, Oct. 19, at the Opechee Inn and Spa in Lakeport. Special guests include police and fire professionals who share her view that animals can and do outperform what we expect when we think of them as merely pets.

‘Mama’

Hebert-Dow is a product of Laconia’s French-Catholic heritage. She spoke French before she knew English and attended 13 years of Catholic education in Laconia, where her education was black-and-white — which describes more than the wardrobes of the nuns who instructed her classes.

“There was no gray area, there was no questioning of authority,” Hebert-Dow said. “Coloring outside the lines was wrong.”

That clarity extended to her vision of the life before her. She got married and had two children, a boy and a girl. It was all going according to plan — except her plan didn’t account for the possibility her marriage would end.

“I went from married to a single mother inside of 17 days in 1985,” she said. It wasn’t in her plan to live on her own, to support herself in a too-costly apartment she picked because it was close to her ex, and therefore easier for her children. She found herself working four part-time jobs in order to make ends meet, when in the fall of that year, she spotted an ad in The Citizen newspaper. The advertisement promised flexible hours and unlimited income. She called the number.

It turned out to be an enticement for a sales job at Mutual of Omaha. After an interview, she was asked to take an aptitude test. She flunked it — but her supervisor saw something in her the test couldn’t measure, and he hired her anyway.

Herbert-Dow proved him correct, despite the test and the fact she was a diminutive woman trying to succeed in what was a decidedly man’s game. What she had — perhaps what her boss saw — was grit. She exhausted every lead she could, and trained her son to write down the names and phone numbers of contractors they saw in traffic so she could ring them up and see if they were happy with their coverage policies.

It brought forth a period of success for Hebert-Dow, but a hollow one, as she writes about in her book. She was making money but couldn’t shake the feeling of incompletion. A family wasn’t a family without a mother and a father, she had always understood, so she sought companionship.

“Saving Mama” tells the story of how she navigated that challenge. She writes her memories absent anger for her ex; this isn’t a revenge book. Instead, it’s a woman understanding how she was able to chart a course after having to discard her map, and realizing, sometimes decades later, she was far less alone than she thought she was, thanks to the loyalties of her pets.

The cats and dogs Hebert-Dow welcomed into her life are given voice in “Saving Mama,” in the form of dialogues or monologues interspersed throughout the book. Sometimes poignant, sometimes comical, their perspectives often see what the main character couldn’t in that moment.

“This story is about the animals that came into my life,” Hebert-Dow said. When she was struggling, she felt out of place, like a wolf in a world full of sheep, she wrote in her book. Then, she thought financial stability would make her feel whole. She now realizes that was wrong.

“The longer I went through life with animals, they were the ones who turned my life around, not making money, not being successful in a man’s world. ... The animals did their best to replace what money could never buy.”

Looking for a rainbow

Hebert-Dow’s life has been storm-swept at times. She had to make many choices on her own, choices she was prepared to make. Some of those decisions were costly, she now sees. One cost is that her children, now grown and with families of their own, feel ambivalent at best about Laconia, a place Hebert-Dow said they associate with memories they’d like to leave in the past.

She said it’s a “frightening” experience to see her memoir published and on sale for anyone to read.

“I’m providing so much personal information that really nobody knows,” she said, but wanted to tell her story so people could see how she was able to find her way.

“I want them to see that I did come away from that.”

Hebert-Dow said those storms in her life have resulted in something beautiful, in the same way a rainbow can be seen by those who choose to look up after the rain has passed.

“That rainbow, there’s something that’s come out of all that pain,” she said. “I like the woman that I am today.”

“Saving Mama” is available for purchase online and at local stores such as Innisfree in Meredith and Laconia, Lakes Region Party & Gift in Laconia, Lakeshore Market and Deli in Gilford and Kim Prints Everything in Tilton.

To connect with Hebert-Dow, find her on Facebook or email clairehebertdowauthor@gmail.com.