Living with Asperger's: Reaching an understanding

Editor's Note: This is the third part of David Stamps' first-person account of living with Asperger's Syndrome.

Despite all the successes in my life, I continued to feel beset by demons. Unable to sustain close friendships, torn between light and darkness, I often struggled to control my emotions, still felt left out, even as many thought I was “in.”

The path to understanding my condition was immeasurably aided by the Asperger/Autism Network, or AANE (aane.org). I am still involved in the organization, including lecturing, participating in video education and facilitating a monthly group for those of us over 50 years.

Wikipedia defines the condition: “Asperger syndrome (AS), also known as Asperger's, is a developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. As a milder autism spectrum disorder (ASD), it differs from other ASDs by relatively normal language and intelligence.”

This is not a definitive definition, as our understanding of Asperger’s is still evolving. While currently there appear to be more males than females, it is now understood that AS often manifests differently in woman who are often raised to be more adept socially. Much research still needs to be done.

AANE has the following to say about Asperger’s :

“AANE has adopted the term Asperger profile to describe a range of neurological differences characteristic of over 1 percent of people in the United States and worldwide. You may already be familiar with the term Asperger Syndrome, an autism spectrum diagnosis given to people with a specific constellation of challenges. We have chosen to retire the pathologizing word "syndrome," because it fails to acknowledge that:

• Many people with Asperger profiles also have striking abilities, talents, and positive traits.

• Traits are not fixed or static; with education and support, people's brains, behaviors, and skills can change over time.

• Judgments about people's abilities are subjective; what seems like a challenge in one environment may be an asset in another context.

Dr. Stephen M. Shore (a former AANE board president) says, “When you meet one person with Asperger's — you’ve met one person with Asperger's.” Although people with Asperger profiles may share a common cluster of traits, each person is unique, and his or her life course is highly variable. Each person's traits vary in number and intensity, and their expression may vary at different developmental stages or in different environments. Like multi-colored yarns woven together into tapestries, the unlimited possibilities for trait combinations produce a wide variety of unique outcomes.” https://www.aane.org/what-is-an-asperger-profile

What is my purpose is writing this?

I was inspired by Laconia Daily Sun Managing Editor Roger Carroll’s series on his mental health challenges. Like him, I hope talking about it openly might spark a dialogue that makes the road just a little smoother for those who follow.

We need to hear more stories. We need greater funding, certainly, for our Community Mental Health Centers. We also need much more funding for our schools to support smaller class sizes and supportive teachers and aides.

I would like people to understand another dimension of who I am. There are many people who qualify with a “mental” challenge living among us, and I am one of those. But I am hardly alone. In the end, I hope telling my story promotes greater tolerance and understanding of what it means to have “mental” issues, whether depression, autism or other.