Given opportunity, LHS students describe bullying

LACONIA — Bullying and intolerance are a daily reality for many students at Laconia High School, several of whom described the pain and frustration they have experienced to their fellow students at a special presentation on tolerance and inclusion yesterday.

"Ever since I started middle school here I've been bullied because I'm Puerto Rican. And because I've stood up for my sister, who is bisexual, people are saying that I'm the same way. I'm emotionally messed up and people just make fun of me," said one student, who ran from the high school auditorium after speaking but was later prevailed upon by friends to return.

Another described how he had been picked on because of the perception that he was gay and how he had been punched by one of those bullying him in front of other students, none of whom spoke up on his behalf.

"I was called a faggot and got death threats daily. I even tried to commit suicide. But now I see people getting together and going the extra mile to stop the bullying and it gives me hope," said the student.

Another described how fellow students had made fun of her 21-year-old cousin, who graduated last year from Laconia High School and is mentally retarded.

"People picked on her all the time and no one did anything about it. I told the kids that it was pathetic that they got their kicks out of picking on (her)," she said.

Another student, who was a senior, said that she had left school for half of one semester because of the bullying and harassment she had experienced, including $1,300 of damage done to her car, including having a window kicked in, and being told by other students that she would "better off if I killed myself."

One student said that she had experienced first hand the negative affects of bullying when a cousin who had been bullied later committed suicide. She said that those who had done the bullying laughed about the death after they heard about it, which she said shows what totally sick people bullies really are.

Not all of the students have remained silent when they witness bullying. Drew Prag, one of the founders of a group called Freedom Found, said that he had confronted other students at a homecoming bonfire who were excluding a special needs student from a game of catch by asking his fellow students if they felt like more of a man by picking on him.

Other students said they had witnessed bullying but hadn't responded and felt that the meeting helped them to better understand how to respond.

The students spoke at an afternoon session of a two-day long series of programs on tolerance and inclusion which the Laconia School District and the Laconia Human Relations Committee had arranged for in conjunction with the Southern Poverty Law Center as part of a community wide approach to issues of intolerance and hate.

Lecia Brooks of the center, located in Birmingham, Alabama, praised the Laconia school district for its pro-active approach.

Special presentations were made throughout the day at LHS for freshmen, sophomores and juniors with a mix-it-up lunch event at which students were encouraged to sit with students other than those they usually eat with.

Raige Hollis, a captain of the high school football team, was among those who were encouraging fellow students to reach out and be more inclusive.

He said he had spoken with other football players "trying to convince them that it's a good thing to get out of their comfort zone and include other people."

But for many the mix-it-up lunch was not that popular. A show of hands at the special presentation for juniors following lunch showed only a few hands raised when students were asked if they had liked it.

Brooks said that the students will get to like them better as time goes along and that forging new and inclusive relationships with their own peers will be seen as important part of their educational experience.

She also praised the courage shown by the students who had been willing to share their stories about being bullied at the session and said that they were discovering that there are other students ready to be helpful and supportive for them.

Prag said that there about 20 students who attend the Friday afternoon sessions of Freedom Found in the high school guidance office and that students who are experiencing problems are welcome to join with them for support and understanding.

CAPTION

Denique Monique, Laconia High School freshman; Raige Hollis, a senior and captain of the LHS football team, and sophomore Travis Sanborn, share some thoughts on tolerance and diversity at a Mix It Up Lunch in the high school cafeteria Wednesday. (Roger Amsden photo for the Laconia Daily Sun)

LACONIA — A community conversation on how to respond to signs of intolerance and uncivil dialogue will continue on Wednesday, October 19 at the Laconia Middle School in a follow up to Wednesday night's gathering at Lakes Region Community College. More than 100 people turned out for a presentation about the state of hate and intolerance in America.

Carol Pierce of the Laconia Human Relations Committee says that the community forum sets the stage for the work that lies ahead for the city in trying to promote civil discourse and respect.

She said that one thing she took away from the forum was a sense of "who will stand up with me" when it comes to dealing with the issues that must be faced in order to gain traction in shaping the attitudes of young people in the community towards tolerance.

"Standing up against violence and hate is the taking the first step toward prevention" said Pierce following a presentation by Lecia Brooks and Michel Marsh Garcia of the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The two had spent Tuesday and Wednesday in workshops with students, teachers and parents in Laconia public schools to promote “Respectful Schools,” an initiative of the Laconia school district, Lakes Region Community College, Laconia Human Relations Committee, Laconia Police Department, Lakes Region United Way, N.H. Catholic Charities and Laconia Middle School PTO.

Brooks told the group that hate groups are on the rise nationally, with over 1,000 now identified as such by SPLC, a 50-percent increase since the year 2000.

She said that there are identifiable five hate groups operaring in New Hampshire, including the American Third Position in Ashland, a Northeast White Pride group, a Ku Klux Klan chapter and two anti-Semitic groups in Richmond.

She said that a number of factors are contributing to the rise of hate groups, including a change in demographics which is transforming American society and will by 2040 see minorities actually becoming a majority nationwide. California has already reached "majority minority" status.

"We see that trend moving into the South and the Midwest and the kind of tension it produces. And it's not going to stop and that frightens some people. What we have to do is talk to our young people and prepare them for that change,'' said Brooks.

"Hate groups promote hate crime and the first step towards those crimes is the dehumanizing individuals, like school bullying does,'' she said.

She said that the election of Barack Obama as America's first black president has also fueled the rise of hate groups like the National Socialist Movement, whose web site traffic quadrupled after his election. Militia groups have grown fivefold in the last three years.

Other factors in the rise of hate groups include the immigration, mostly of illegals, from Hispanic countries in Central and South America, the demonization of Islam following the terrorist attacks of 9-11 and continuing high unemployment, which hate groups exploit to gain new members.

Brooks said that New Hampshire gets low marks for its teaching of the history of the Civil Rights movement in its schools but that is a statewide issue, not a local one and urged schools to adopt civil discourse in schools as part of their curriculum.

Alan Robichaud of the Lakes Region United Way said that he was pleased by the large turnout for the meeting and the way Laconia schools are dealing in a pro-active manner with issues of tolerance and diversity by promoting inclusion.

"There is a level of anger in our society and in our discourse which I don't think I've ever seen before. What we're trying to promote is a process in which we can treat each other with civility while talking openly about our differences," said Robichaud.