Tony Boutin: Global warming is now passe but starving to death is real-

To The Daily Sun,

Johnny Carson visits from heaven for a one night stand to help America get through an extended pandemic period.

I’ve been watching things from upstairs here in my sky box. Got my wings ya know. “I get no respect” Dangerfield keeps clipping them. I booed one of his jokes in front of St. Peter, he just won’t let it go. Pretty tough on you folks. Four years of forced, cram down, stuck at home with the little woman. That’s a bummer for sure. I filed for divorce with six wives after only four weeks alone with them. Pretty quick, they all start to look like Phyllis Diller.

I tweeted with Trump today, now in office nine years. He says a very fair, doubly, very fair, presidential election will happen soon. Right after all virus danger has passed and Joe Biden is released from the Shady Rest Nursing Home. News is, there was a new Covid case reported down in Antarctica yesterday. That might be enough to delay the election another full year. Trump tells me he’s totally opposed to “mail in” voting. If it were allowed in Chicago (also known as Obamaville) its 2.5 million residents would produce 7.5 million votes, all for his opponent. Its been well known for decades, more dead people vote in Obamaville than live ones.

Trump’s right, his number low, the pandemic has proved what’s really important in America — and as importantly, what isn’t. Dunkin' is open, as is every hardware store. Doctor’s offices and dental offices are nailed shut. Is that a hoot? Your house can be fixed. Your body can’t. Walmart just reported it sold 329 million rolls of toilet paper in five days. Closed beauty shops reveal even more honest truths. Fifty million women over 40 indeed have grey hair. For years shaggy carpets were popular. Shaggy dog too. Disney even made a movie with one. All we can hope is shaggy men are next. Maybe a centerfold, cave man version. Who would have guessed it. Social distancing offers some advantages. Sticky morning deodorant not needed now. Changes of underwear, only every other day. Same with socks. People with bad breath, they vanished.

With everyone wearing masks, nobody notices. The planet huggers got their wish. Less carbon burned in the economic down turn. Visions of humans being roasted like KFC chicken wings is out. Starving to death is real and in. GM’s finally making stuff that saves lives rather than takes them. Dark storm clouds can indeed have silver linings. A medical virus killed the Democratic political class, including it’s greatest con man with nine lives, Bernie Sanders. He’s dead politically now. He now has time to seek the help he desperately needs in a setting where professionals can help the man deal with his hate for the successful in life. It took the coronavirus to kill the socialist cancer the Democratic Party was trying to destroy America with.

Tony Boutin

Gilford