Please see to it that your newspaper is folded properly

To The Daily Sun,

Break out the leg irons, drag out the rack, heat up the iron pokers and start boiling the oil. Please, see I said that nicely, find the person (gender neutral) at your print shop who runs the presses. Then bind, not too tightly, no gag or blindfold, that individual, again gender neutral, and transport this ne'er-do-well to the aforementioned dungeon, appropriately dank, dimly lit with wall torches. Let this, or for that matter "these," again gender neutral, (ain't I good at being PC?) alignment-deficient finished printed product FOLDER'S see what awaits the GUILTY!

And those responsible are not first-time offenders either, no not by a long-shot, habitual folding foilers is too nice a title for such heinous un-balancing behavior. Why the pages slip from my fingers trying to get a hold of the unaligned rag. Vital news and views are creased over by this info hungry reader trying to align the aforementioned, award-winning publication. (Actually I read it cause it's free, but I digress.)

I feel I write for a majority of the Daily Sun's reader's that such aforementioned action viewing by the paper folding employee or employees (again gender neutral, well you know by now) will hopefully frighten them enough to do the right thing and properly align the folding equipment to produce a product that they and their descendants will forevermore be proud to say, "I folded that newspaper!"

Len Swenson

Center Harbor