Please Santa, bring Trump a 'yuge' lump of very 'clean' coal

To The Daily Sun,

Dear Santa:

 I am reminded that Christmas is more about giving than receiving. With that in mind, I am respectfully submitting this list of thoughtful gifts. I hope you can find the time and spirit to fulfill my wishes for all these special people:

 For John Demakowski: An electronic medication dispenser. (I think he sometimes forgets). And a Koran.

 For both James Veverka and Alan Vervaeke: The grateful admiration and thanks from all of Laconia's more intelligent population.

 For Steve Bannon: A bath, a shave and a haircut. Daily.

 For Sarah Sanders: The ability to actually answer a question. Truthfully.

 For Congressional Republicans: One spine for each, please.

 For Donald Trump: A YUGE lump of “clean” coal. Please make it the biggest, the best, the most beautiful lump of coal ever!

 For Melania Trump: Our sympathies.

 For Trumpettes everywhere: The ability to actually accept reality and understand logic.

 For myself, Santa, I ask only one thing. Please give me TONY BOUTIN'S CAPS LOCK KEY!

 Thank you, and Merry Xmas!

 Bill Hemmel

Laconia