Managing the impact of violence on mental health: what parents, schools can do

LACONIA — “The thought that ‘this couldn’t happen here’ is no longer something that we feel,” said Gilford Police Chief Kris Kelley the day after the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. “It was a horrific, senseless tragedy, and we feel the effects of it here.” 

As school shootings and overall school violence continue to plague the United States, the need for school safety measures and the possibility that schools could face violent threats become normalized. But that doesn’t mean tragedies such as the one in Uvalde, and the steps that school and safety officials take to prevent them from happening locally, feel normal to students, teachers and parents. 

Managing the mental health impacts of school shootings – from anxiety and fear about whether schools are safe, to grief for the dead, to numbness and feelings of resignation over the grim realities of school violence in America – is a difficult and relentless process.

For parents and other adults, it is important to face and manage their own feelings and reactions to violent incidents before having conversations with kids, according to Lakes Region Mental Health Center Director of Children and Family Program Charlotte Hassett and Assistant Director Jennifer Schmidt. 

“Be sure to be in a calm place before engaging with kids about it,” Schmidt said. “Kids are very cognizant and perceptive and will pick up on anything you’re feeling.” 

Adults should lean on their support networks and utilize healthy coping strategies, Hassett said. Parents not ready to talk with their kids about these issues should reach out to another trusted adult who might help a child feel reassured and safe. 

Schmidt and Hassett strongly recommend that adults limit exposure to media coverage of violence, not only for children but also for themselves. Media coverage tends to be dramatic, making it strongly affect children, and constant, making it hard to turn away.

“Be aware about when it’s time to turn off the TV and step away,” Schmidt said. “It’s a horrifying event and trauma from it is very real.” 

While it is also essential that conversations with children are age appropriate, Schmidt and Hassett said, it remains key to communicate with children: conversations should aim to validate their feelings and also affirm that they are safe. 

When talking about incidents of violence and the purpose of safety drills with kids, Schmidt said, help kids understand how rare shootings are, and emphasize that drills are a just-in-case precaution to keep them safe. 

“Make sure they know that adults work very hard making plans and procedures to keep schools safe,” Schmidt said. 

Students also can reach out to guidance counselors and mental health professionals for support and resources about managing their mental and emotional wellbeing. 

For students to receive that care, however, schools must have the resources to make it accessible and available.

The mental health needs of older students in particular, Hassett said, has surpassed the capacity of the local mental health industry to provide adequate care. 

“There needs to be more robust infrastructure, staff retention and workforce development within the mental health field,” Hassett said. Increasing numbers of patients are seeking mental health care, but there aren’t enough professionals to meet their needs. This is especially true in schools, Hassett said, where the psychological challenges from the last few years to students exceeds what most guidance counselors are equipped to manage. 

Inter-Lakes High School has sought to increase their mental health resources for students and proactively elevate their social-emotional learning (SEL) curriculum. 

After national incidents of violence, according to Superintendent Mary Moriarty and Guidance Director Holly Vieten, Inter-Lakes sends parents information from the National Association of School Psychologists about how to talk to children about violence, and reminds students about the resources available to them at school. 

More local, or acutely traumatizing, incidents of violence are addressed by Inter-Lakes' Critical Incident Response Team. A 15-member team of student service providers trained in psychological first aid, crisis intervention and other related fields, the team provides support and tools for educators about how to work under difficult circumstances and provide targeted care for students going through difficult times, according to Vieten. 

Moriarty stressed that Inter-Lakes is constantly evaluating, growing and elevating its efforts to provide comprehensive mental-health services and SEL for its students. 

Inter-Lakes plans to hire a second school psychologist next year and hopes to make outside counselors, currently available a few days a week, available to students every school day. 

“We recognized that we need to give more support to students in that area,” Moriarty said. “And some students need even more support than others.” 

Moriarty and Vieten also commended the guidance team for their outreach into classrooms, and faculty and staff for the strength of their connections with students. As a small school, they emphasized, Inter-Lakes has a school-wide focus on strong and inclusive bonds between students and school staff. These bonds utilize teachers’ attention, caring and alertness, Moriarty and Vieten said, to ensure that no one “falls through the cracks.”

Schools such as Inter-Lakes can also increase and augment their SEL programs to help students manage their emotions and relationships in a more positive way. Inter-Lakes has had strong engagement with the Choose Love Movement, founded by Sandy Hook parent Scarlett Lewis, as well as engaged in a monthly mental health series by former NH Supreme Court justice and mental health advocate John Broderick, and hosted recurring seminars with anxiety-specializing psychotherapist Lynn Lyons. They highlighted the latter as one they have seen spark a strong response from students and faculty. 

Through these programs, “students learn to regulate the emotions of life,” Moriarty said. “You can’t help but see how productive they are for the community.” 

SEL programs and mental health resources support similar outcomes, healthy and safe emotional and mental environments for students, but do not serve the same purpose: psychological services are targeted mental health care where SEL programs are community-wide education. Both are needed to help school communities manage the normal and abnormal psychological challenges they face. 

Incidents of violence impact not only students but educators as well. For Vieten and Moriarty, events like those in Uvalde compel them towards vigilance. 

“I feel the weight of my responsibility to make sure we’re doing everything we can,” Moriarty said. “I try to make sure we learn from tragedies like [Uvalde].”

Vieten uses her grief after national tragedies to ensure that she is focused on making others in the school community feel “supported and safe.” 

There is no easy solution or prevention to violence, Hasset asserted. A lack of psychological resources is unhealthy, but mental illness is not the only cause to be addressed. 

When it comes to managing mental health in the fallout of violence, it is important to both validate how you or others are feeling and place your anxieties in context, according to Hassett. 

“Allow yourself to feel strong feelings,” Hassett said. “These events are horrifying and unsettling, but looking at the big picture can help minimize irrational, anxiety-fueled beliefs.” 

In January of this year, the state implemented the NH Rapid Response program, which, according to its website, “consolidates and streamlines access to mental health and substance use disorder services” for anyone “experiencing a mental health and/or substance use crisis.” Rapid Response can be reached by call or text at 833-710-6477. Learn more at nh988.com.