The Thursday, December 18, episode of The Kardashians featured Kim Kardashian preparing to take the bar exam and having a breakdown just days before the test, which she did not end up passing.
Nine days before the bar, Kardashian broke down in tears over how “f**king exhausting” it was to prep for the exam. “I threw my back out and it’s like … every time I think I get to another step, something pulls me back,” she said. “There’s all these f**king roadblocks. I’m not, like, a pity party kind of girl, but, like, last night, I was like, ‘Why the f**k is this happening?’ I can hardly walk. I can hardly f**king sit. I don’t know why I have all these back problems.”
Kardashian noted that she’d heard about “everyone” having “mental breakdowns” before the bar exam, but said she didn’t think she’d be one of them. “I get it. It’s, like, really a lot,” she said. “Now I really, really get it. I had no clue it was going to be this, like, emotional. I don’t know how I can get anymore information in my brain.”
In a confessional, she admitted she was “shocked” that she was breaking down, but explained that the process was “such a mindf**k.”
“I just don’t think I’m the best test taker,” Kardashian explained. “And to know that over six years of my life that I’ve been studying for comes down to this one test is the most terrifying feeling. Some days you think, ‘I’m so ready,’ and other days, you’re like, ‘There’s no way I can take this test today.'”
A producer noted that she’d never seen the reality star “want something so badly,” and Kardashian agreed. “I really want it and, like, if I don’t pass, I don’t think I would take it again,” she shared. “I wouldn’t have the time for a few years and then I’m older and my brain capacity is different.”
In November, Kardashian shared with her social media followers that she did not pass the bar. However, by that point, she had changed her tune about retaking the test.
“This dream means too much to me to walk away from, so I’m going to keep studying, keep learning, and keep showing up for myself until I get there,” she wrote in an Instagram post.
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