To The Daily Sun,
I channeled Jonathan Swift of "Gulliver Travels" fame the other day. Mr. Swift, the ultimate satirist, dictated the following to me.
The Disney Company has taken Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse transgender. Mickey is now a girl. Minnie is a boy. Pluto now thinks he is a cat. Donald and Daisy Duck are in the throes of deciding whether they are L, G, B , T, or Q. The AP reported that Donald told Daisy that he thinks Disneyland has gone "Quackers" so they must be Qs.
The UPI is reporting Disneyland has been thunderstruck by a Bathroom Brouhaha. Disney president reports the issue is so complicated that the board of directors has been unable to resolve the issue for six months. The Fauci Flu provided some relief, so to speak, because of a pandemic closure and reduced crowds. With recent crowd surges, the brilliant minds of Disney decided to lock all bathrooms in the Magic Kingdom except the bathroom at Cinderella's Castle. This unique solution has led to an unexpected benefit (consequence): Wait time for rides has been reduced from one hour to five minutes except for the bathroom line at Cinderella's Castle. Disney is covering up the length of lines and wait times.
Drudge Report has an exclusive that the confounded Disney board has retained world-renown mediums to consult Walt Disney to solve the "Bathroom Brouhaha" enigma. Unfortunately both Walt and Roy have been unavailable because they have been retained by the Heavenly Bodies to plan and erect a Galaxy Wonderland and Tour. Walt is so out of touch he texted that he thought Joe Biden may be able to solve the problem.
Good luck, Disney.
Charles Henry Bradley III