Big Brothers, Big Sisters, good friends

LACONIA — Cannon Neal’s heart broke when his grandmother, his favorite person, suffered a debilitating stroke. She had pulled herself out of homelessness to lead a successful life and had joyfully cared for Cannon during his early years, serving as his anchor when his father was no longer a daily presence.

She made a life-changing decision to ensure that her grandson, then age 9, had someone in addition to his mother to guide him as he grew up. She enrolled him in the Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Hampshire’s youth mentoring program.

And that brought Kevin Carson. Three years later, at age 66, the retired corporate executive remains Cannon’s companion, role model, friend and confidant.

“He’s a very good friend. Whenever he’s looking out, he’s looking out for me,” said Cannon, who is now 12 and a seventh grader at Laconia Middle School. Together they go fishing, play guitar, scour record stores for vintage albums and take day trips around the state where they walk, explore different downtowns and find appealing spots for lunch.

Today, Cannon doesn’t hesitate to recommend the Big Bothers Big Sisters program to young people he knows. His little brother asks "When can I get my Kevin?"

“If they’re having their own troubles and need to get away, sign up,” Cannon said. “It’s a really good way to meet a good friend that you’ll have for a long time.”

It’s a life-altering altering alliance that transcends age differences and time.  For 55 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Hampshire, the state affiliate of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, has been forging and supporting one-to-one mentoring relationships for at-risk youth in the Granite State.

The state chapter started pairing mentors and mentees in the Lakes Region and central New Hampshire in 2019, and now oversees 41 partnerships in Laconia, Gilford, Plymouth, Ashland and the Concord area between boys and girls ages 6 to 18, and mentors who are mostly their 20s and 30s — or age 50 and older, like Carson of Laconia, who became a Big Brother at age 63.

“I wanted to do something that would benefit the community,” said Carson, who has two grown children and a passion for history. “There are kids who don’t necessarily have two parents at home. It was a way to do something myself, and an opportunity to make a personal commitment.”

“It makes all the difference for our kids. Every kid needs a trusted adult in their corner,” said Stacy Kramer, chief executive officer of Stratham-based BBBSNH. We “put a mentor in their life that will change the trajectory of their life. Some of our kids won’t come into contact naturally with a mentor.”

At a time when youth mental health is on radars nationwide and families are strapped for time, Big Brothers Big Sisters provides a lifeline for young people who feel uprooted or adrift in uneasy times.

This year, an anonymous donation of $50,000 from a Granite State family will come to the state charity’s coffers if the same amount can be raised from individual gifts by the deadline of Dec. 31, Kramer said. BBBSNH is funded entirely through donations, which make it possible to recruit and screen mentors, run detailed background checks and provide ongoing training and supervision of matches between mentors and mentees, Kramer said.

“We really need people to step up,” Kramer said. “That’s a huge gift to us. We fundraise all our money. We don’t charge for our services,” which continue throughout the match, and include activities for bigs and littles to do in tandem, as well as training for parents. She said the average cost of onboarding and supporting a mentorship runs between $1,800 and $2,400 a year.

“We see the potential in every child, and our mission is to unleash that potential in every child,” said Brian Bernard, manager of regional programs for BBBSNH. There are currently 26 children in central NH and the Lakes Region waiting for a Big Brother or Sister, and most are boys, he said. “For most of the littles, they just want to go out and have fun. They’re looking for someone who wants to spend time with them, take them places and do fun stuff.”

At first Carson was hesitant because he was more than 50 years older than his Little Brother.

“I’m not up on all the things that someone is who is 9 or 10,” he said. But the age gap faded when they met and bonded over their mutual love of history and music. Cannon “has almost an encyclopedic knowledge of rock and roll and music of the '60s and '70s. He knows all the music I know and probably knows it better.”

There’s a public misconception that mentors should be roughly the age of a child’s parent, but that’s not true, he explained. Many older adults step up and forge mutually rewarding relationships that endure, based on personality chemistry and common interests.

“Cannon is a smart kid who speaks well with adults,” Carson said. “His mother wanted him to be with someone who would challenge him. It turned out to be a great match. He has some interests that align with mine.”

That includes diving into unsolved mysteries. At their initial meeting, “We talked about the assassination of John F. Kennedy and all the different theories, which he knew a lot about,” Carson said. 

“He was surprised that I knew more than he did because I was alive at that time.”

Although they enjoy day trips and new experiences together — including riding in a helicopter during a visit to the Sandwich Fair — a favorite activity for both is hanging out at Carson’s house. His wife, a retired math teacher, sometimes helps Cannon with his math homework, and there’s a well-stocked fishing pond nearby.

“He’s taken up the guitar and I play guitar, as well. I’m not teaching him how to play, but how to play with someone else” and stay in sync, Carson said.

Being a Big Brother or Sister “is not an expensive thing from a money standpoint. It’s finding the time to do it,” Carson said. He and Cannon usually meet once a week, three times a month.

To make a donation, visit give.bbbsnh.org/TGC2022 or contact Nicole McShane at 603-255-8646 or nmcshane@bbbsnh.org.