A daughter's WW II letter to her mother

“Who was the founder of Mother’s Day?”

Imagine if we were playing a game of Trivial Pursuit and that question came up.

Could you answer it and then provide us with the date and history?

Anna Marie Jarvis (1864–1948) held the first memorial service that eventually became a designated Sunday in May known as “Mother’s Day.”  Her mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, was a social activist who once ended a program when Anna was a child at the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in West Virginia with a prayer suggesting a memorial.

“I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial Mothers Day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.”

Three years after her mother’s death (1908), Anna Jarvis  organized a ceremony to honor her mother and all mothers at the church where her mother had suggested the idea. Ms. Jarvis, who never had children, believed  white carnations were the most appropriate flowers because the whiteness symbolized “the truth, purity and broad-charity of mother-love.”  Later, as carnations were so much in demand on Mother’s Day, white flowers came to symbolize deceased mothers and red carnations were for living mothers.

Anna’s original intention was not that we purchase flowers, chocolate truffles and lavish cards designed by graphic artists, with verses penned by copywriters, her thought was that we write personal letters to our mothers.  

“A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! You take a box to Mother – and then eat most of it yourself. A pretty sentiment.”

Elizabeth Millar Howard, my beloved mother, wrote such a letter to her mother on May, 11, 1944, during the Second World War. She was 23, and the letter bears her exquisite handwritten script, written on blue paper with white ink: 

Dearest Mother,

    I feel very close to you tonight and want to tell you so because too often we get careless about our feelings and really don’t seem to fully appreciate all that a mother stands for. Too often we criticize without remembering to praise, but since Mother’s Day is drawing close, I think we all feel nearer to them and I know that everywhere in the world this year mothers are going to be thought more of than ever before. The war seems to have brought this about.

I was just listening to a program made up by Army boys and that was the theme of their program. Whey they sang “Songs my Mother Taught Me” it just capped the climax and I knew I must write to you and tell you how I feel.

I think all of us in our family are apt to avoid sentimentality in front of the others, but deep in all our hearts I know that each one of us realizes that as a family group there couldn’t be much more love in existence. We are all aware of the weaknesses of the other and seemingly forget to be aware of the strong qualities that make us what we are.

We children can all say with utmost sincerity that never was there a mother who was more willing to sacrifice than you. You have always listened to our troubles, lived out heartbreaks with us, tended us patiently and tenderly when we were ill, greeted us with fervor upon our return and have sent us away one by one knowing that where-ever we went, no matter, what we did we could always have someone to love us and who would be glad to see us when we came back. Your letters are cheerful highlights in all of our lives. We simply must reflect some of it in our lives or we certainly wouldn’t be what we are. The one thing that I’m always afraid of is that I’ll do something to lose your love and admiration, because I know that whatever it was you would assume it yourself – and yet I know that in spite of it your love wouldn’t waver.

I ‘m sure when the time comes God will say to you “well done, thou good and faithful servant, ascend thou into the kingdom of heaven.”

Dear Mother, I speak now for all of us – I am glad now that I am the middle one. I have had the love of the two older boys, and I look with pride to the younger ones.  Thank you for being my Mother – I shall try to keep myself worthy of you.  Elizabeth

While I often write to my mother, my correspondence has never contained the love and insight of the letter she mailed to her mother, Anne Grace Rafferty Millar.  This Mother’s Day, I’m working on a letter that will express not only my love for her, it will let her know the depth of my admiration for her unwavering love and support – for teaching me the importance of justice for all people, the power of prayer and quiet meditation, and the importance of working through difficult situations without anger or conflict.   

Mother’s do love receiving a beautiful bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates.  Notwithstanding, it is a letter – tucked in a leather folder that is left behind for generations to come – that will remain as a treasure.

Happy Mother’s Day.  

Elizabeth Howard’s career intersects journalism, marketing and communications. Ned O’Gorman: A Glance Back, a book she edited, was published in May 2016.  She is the author of A Day with Bonefish Joe, a children’s book, published by David R. Godine.  She is the Madeleine L’Engle Fellow at the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine in New York City. She has a home in Laconia.  You can send her a note at:  Elizabeth@laconiadailysun.com