Promoting family fun & positivity

I have chosen this topic for today’s column because it can be misunderstood, sometimes taken for granted and, yet, so essential for family well-being. Too many families don't have enough fun. You ask, “what's family fun?” Fun is defined by the Oxford English dictionary as, “light-hearted pleasure, enjoyment or amusement; merrymaking; entertainment.” For me, fun lifts you up, brings a smile to your face and re-charges your batteries. It puts you in the right mind-frame to promote family well-being.

Where do you start? It always starts with YOU so let’s examine your own level of fun and ability to create fun for yourself. Let's just do a little personal inventory and take a look at whether or not you are producing fun and joy or flatlining it. How much fun do you have in your day? Let's break it down into segments. Have you had fun yet today before reading this column? I think most of us never stop to analyze or ask that question. I asked my friend, George, the other day at lunch to describe in some detail what his day had been like so far - from getting up until now. He reported, I woke up, fed the dog, put on the coffee, took the dog for a walk, came back and put on the news, started to do exercises on the floor, made some breakfast, brought my wife some tea, drove to work, got in to the office a little later than I wanted, read and answered some emails, made some phone calls, did a zoom conference with clients, and drove over here to meet you for lunch.

Then I asked, “How’s your day going...having any fun yet?” He looked at me a little surprised and said, “Fun, I wouldn’t call it that...nothing special happened…I certainly wouldn’t have called it fun.” It’s all in the mindset! It is all in how you set your mind. I believe there is a positive mind-set that you can develop and infuse into your day. I think it can make your day fun. Having fun can work like gratitude - the ability to be grateful helps you to turn routine tasks or chores into fun, lift your spirits and get you into a positive mood.

Here is how it works when you are practicing being mindful about your day. George wakes up and is mindful that his sciatica is no longer bothering him, that he can get up out of bed easily and without discomfort. He is also aware and pleased that he's now getting a good eight hours of sleep. He thinks that it's because he has been exercising regularly, which makes him happy. His dog followed him to the kitchen and as Scout is eating George gets down on one knee, strokes him and tells him what a good buddy he has been to him. George feels positive because he is doing something good for someone else. George loves making the coffee much more now because he bought himself a new coffee bean grinder which adds so much more flavor to his coffee. He thoughtfully laid out his wife's tea and is thankful that she is his partner. Now on to exercising while watching the news. He feels so good about doing his exercises because it has made a huge difference to his back and overall flexibility. George loves his career; he works a lot with people. He has a “can do” attitude and enjoys challenges. He is looking forward to lunch with Tom!

What a different mindset. George is not only happy and grateful; he is having fun. He has changed the ordinary into the extraordinary by using his mind to continually be grateful and thankful - and aware of how fortunate he is. And when George is having fun, his family will have fun; anybody around George will be uplifted. He will bring a contagiously positive and supportive spirit because he has learned to look on the plus side of things; to control his mindset; and not allow the negative messages to get through to him. This takes awareness and practice. You can choose to go through life flatlined or you can choose to be alive, aware and grateful. This will bring you a lot more fun.

I think you know how to carry this mindfulness and gratefulness into your relationships with your family. It only takes one person to start positive fun in the family. I'd like to challenge you to create some fun in your family. Start with anyone whom you are living with. Do something fun with each person one to one. Let’s continue this discussion on familyconsultationservices.com/articles

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Tom Power is a family relationship consultant and the author of “Family Matters: A Layperson’s Guide to Family Functioning.” You can check out his website at www.familyconsultationservices.com or email questions to changeUprogram@gmail.com.