Michael Harris: Beware the senior prank in this age of Zoom meetings

To The Daily Sun,

There exists in the traditions of "higher" education a ritual of graduation ceremony, the "Senior Prank."

In many years in education, I have witnessed some such, as when, for example, a graduating high school class group mechanically wired the graduation speakers' podium to gradually — inch-by-inch — pull it to the edge of the stage,  UNTIL IT FELL OFF THE EDGE, and the slowly pursuing, earnest assistant principal, pontificating about marching forward, followed it ...

BUT NOTHING BEATS THE SAGA OF HARRY ASCRACK, CLASS OF 2020.

Oh, these tech-savvy students these days! Stuck with online education, bored out of their minds, no prospects for a traditional graduation ceremony, some youngbloods graduating seniors concocted this:

At a very large high school in a major southern U.S. city. True. It is all going virtual. The governor of the state agrees to read the honor roll on the shared video feed. After all, he is sitting in his governor's office, reading the computer screen, and what else does he have to do? He does not know any of these high school graduates, they are names on a list to him. The list of students has been hacked.

The governor solemnly intones the graduates' names: Ben Jackson, Suzi Olsen, etc. Then ... HARRY ASCRACK.

The student body erupts in raucous hilarity. The governor has said it! (Get the southern twang to the pronunciation.) The governor, red-faced and flummoxed on screen, does not get it. Why are they laughing?

Then, the governor onerously demands: "I WANT TO SEE HARRY ASCRACK, NOW!"

WELL ... I will leave it to your conjecture as to how the graduating class of 2020 responded ...

Michael Harris, PhD

Loudon