Red flag roundup

My good friend Vince bought me a tiny little book while we were in college. The title was "The Portable Curmudgeon." I guess even back then my sarcastic, cynical, New England roots were showing through. The truth is, I'm a pretty optimistic person. And I like to think we keep things pretty light and optimistic here in this article (or is this a column?). Anyway, today that all goes out the (crooked) window (more on that later). I have a couple friends (including yours truly) looking for homes right now. I have a decent amount of experience in the real estate world, but they do not. I've shared most of these tips with them, but figured it is worth reminding you, our awesome readers, about a few of them.

These are red flags that you, fair buyer, should be at least aware of. None of these are necessarily deal-breakers, but they should at least give you cause for pause. When I purchased my duplex in Somersworth, the basement was thick with humidity and smelled like a pet store (mostly because they had been selling reptiles down there for a couple years). After a few weekends of remodeling and cleaning up (the rest of the downstairs unit) the moisture was cleared up and the basement smelled like a normal basement. Again, none of these are deal-breakers. Let's dig in!

Since I already noted it above, the first thing you should be wary of is if the home smells too good to be true. I mean, nobody's house always smells like freshly baked cookies, right? I have found this "flag" to be present in rentals as well. The place smells like a vanilla candle factory during the walk-through and who knows what evil odors lurk beneath that potpourri haze. They genuinely could be just overdoing it by accident, but an overly strong scent that hits you as you enter the home is a red flag for me every time. I should note that I'm all for agents taking the time to give a home a nice smell during open houses and showings. Just don't treat it like a teenage boy treats his dad's cologne! (Mmmm Aqua Velva!)

While we're just now walking through the front door, take a minute to really investigate the flooring. I say this around the entryway because that is the area with the most traffic (or at least the most shoe/boot-covered traffic). If you see shoddy tile work here, in the kitchen, or in the bathroom, simply make note. In the case of the house we live in now, it was a sign of lousy workmanship. The previous owners decided DIY was for them and they did a bunch of things they honestly D-I-shouldn't have. In this case, it does not mean there is structural damage or anything like that. Again, it is simply important to make note. In the case of tile work, that's something worth asking the home inspector about if you get that far down this path.

Since I mentioned the previous owners above, I'll also note that they did a pretty good job with the property maintenance overall. The red flags to look for here are burned out lightbulbs (especially in hard-to-reach areas), leaky or dripping faucets, long grass and overgrown shrubs, and faded, cracked paint. Of course there are loads of other items, but those obvious ones point to a neglectful homeowner. Fastidious homeowners will flush the hot water heater every year, ensure the shrubs are tidy and not touching the house, replace any faulty lightbulbs and sure up any leaky plumbing. This simply shows the homeowner has taken pride in their home and has cared for it (like you will!).

Windows are the window to the home. OK, that didn't even sound better in my head, but I'm sticking with it! Having purchased a rather old home in New Hampshire, I am aware that things are not always "straight" or "plumb." When walking through a home, always (and I mean, always!) open at least half of the windows. If you feel silly about that (especially now with the temps dropping) at least open one window on each side of the house. If they stick or don't move at all, do not ignore it. Most of us can't tell if a window is installed "correctly" or even if the window is "straight." And it is true that one window could just be a jerk while the rest of them are perfectly fine. But the implication of multiple stuck windows is either a lopsided home or outdated (read:needs replacing) windows. Neither are small (or inexpensive) fixes.

While the windows can be a great indicator of a straight home, the basement is an area that should not be skipped. I once viewed a home that had a significant "bow" in one of the basement walls. It turned out to be structurally sound (verified by the home inspector and a basement "guy") and nothing to be overly concerned about. When walking through the basement just be aware of the straightness of the walls, any (and I mean ANY) moisture, and the presence or smell of mold. "In new england we generally need to be pretty vigilant when it comes to basements," notes Badger Realty agent, Deirdre Braun. "I always encourage buyers to put their trust in the professionals if they have any questions or concerns in that area," she continued.

Since we noted moisture above, I'll generally say that any sort of water around the home or signs of water in the home are cause for concern. Outside the home, that lovely creek in the back yard needs to be fully researched by you (because you know it will be highlighted by your insurance company!). Make sure you know what happens in the spring and make sure that water stays where it belongs. And any sort of water damage inside the home (or freshly painted ceilings!) should be inquired about and pointed out to the home inspector.

The key takeaway here is to not ignore these things and confirm, verify, ask questions, etc. until you are satisfied this trouble spot is not going to cost you additional money and headaches. If you're like me, you don't like to upset the proverbial applecart. In this case, there are hundreds of thousands of dollars (of your money) on the line. You can't be too careful. As most of our parents told us, nobody is going to look out for you more than you (OK, I'm really struggling with my catch-phrases today). Happy house hunting.