‘SNL’ Cold Open Rips Apart Donald Trump Over Skyrocketing Gas Prices

The Saturday Night Live cold open ripped apart President Donald Trump over skyrocketing gas prices amid the war in Iran.

In the Saturday, March 14 episode of SNL, James Austin Johnson reprised his role as the POTUS, while Colin Jost returned as Secretary of War Pete Hegseth.

The skit opened with a family of four stopping at a gas station on their way to grandma’s house — but the mother (Ashley Padilla) said one of the kids would have to be left behind because gas cost $5 per gallon. “Dad, why does gas cost so much?” the son (Marcello Hernández) asked.

That’s when Johnson, as Trump, popped into the frame and declared, “The Epstein files!”

He continued, “Kidding. But possibly not. It’s called butterfly effect, right? Epstein was first domino — Epstein, bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bong, bong, bong, war!”

After pointing out that viewers might remember him “from such campaign promises as lower gas prices and no more wars, sike!” Trump pointed out, “We love to make promises because a promise is just a lie that hasn’t happened yet.”

The POTUS added, “As for the stock market, let me put it in a way that the Harry Styles fans in the crowd tonight will understand. You guys are gonna love this one. The stock market is going in one direction: down!”

After getting back to the topic, Trump explained that gas prices are “very high because of war with Iran, which is where they make gas. I wish someone had told me that.” He then promised, “But we will win this war because Iran is old and nobody likes them. Iran is like ballet and opera, and we’re Timmy Chalamet.”

Trump also assured that he has “everything under control,” claiming to have been met with the “nation’s top minds, Jake Paul…he was booed very badly at the Mike Tyson fight. We hate boos.”

Suddenly, Jost as Hegseth yelled out the window of the family’s car, “Did somebody say booze?” Once the cheers died down, he said, “OK, so I had a couple road sodas. Chill.” This prompted Trump to exclaim, “Pete Hegseth! As I live and struggle to breathe,” and Hegseth to thank the president for gifting him a pair of size 16 Florsheim shoes. (“They fit me like a glove. Like a clown’s glove,” he said.)

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'SNL' Cold Open Lambasts Donald Trump & Pete Hegseth Over War in Iran

Hegseth continued, “If you’re wondering why I was in the back seat of this random family’s car, I’ll tell you the same thing I say when people ask about our plans for Iran: I don’t know.”

Additionally, he offered an update on the war in Iran, sharing, “The news is: We won. Hashtag winning. So you can stop asking me all about it.”

The Secretary of War added, “And all you dweebs, stop saying the Strait of Hormuz is closed. It’s wide open. Sure, there’s a bunch of landmines floating in the water — water mines, I guess — but if you’re an oil tanker and you’re driving it, and you see one of the mines, just do what I used to do at every DUI checkpoint: close your eyes and gun it.”

“Great advice, Pete,” Trump said, returning to the shot. “OK, anyway, back to the gas station scene. Kidding, of course.” Both Trump and Hegseth then declared, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Saturday Night Live, Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC

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