Bill Maher recently slammed President Donald Trump‘s executive order to “rewrite history,” and he did so with a list of hilarious fake updates.
During the Friday, March 13 episode of Real Time With Bill Maher, the late-night host, 70, brought up a directive from the POTUS, 79.
“It is the policy of the administration to restore federal sites dedicated to history to include parks and museums…. to remind Americans of our extraordinary heritage,” Maher read from the executive order.
The stand-up comedian added, “This is my issue with so many things. The pendulum never stops in the middle. Have we whitewashed history somewhat? Yes, we have.”
However, Maher also claimed that folks on the left “don’t appreciate America enough.” He said, “They don’t have it in perspective. It’s all, ‘We did terrible things.’ Well, we didn’t just do terrible things.”
Of Trump’s executive order, he explained, “But Trump wants to whitewash all that,” thus the move to “scrub national park sites of signs that cast America in a negative light.”
That’s when Maher shared hypothetical historical revisions at the Smithsonian.
“For example, George Washington famously said, ‘I can tell a lie — and every future president should be able to as well,'” he joked.
He added, “When George Wallace stood in the doorway of an Alabama schoolhouse, he did it because he thought he felt an earthquake.”
Another fake update read, “On December 7, 1941, Greenland attacked Pearl Harbor,” to which Maher pointed out, “I don’t remember it that way, but…”
He continued, “The first thing Neil Armstrong did after he set foot on the moon was dance like he was jerking off two guys at once.”
Another bogus claim: “Most of the U.S. soldiers who landed on Normandy Beach during D-Day were killed by windmills.”
In a different historical revision, Maher read, “Thomas Jefferson had sex with his slaves because ‘when you’re a star, they let you do it.'”
He then claimed, “The man who assassinated Kennedy was really named Lee Harvey Ortega.”
Finally, Maher read, “And in the 1850s, over 1 million Irish immigrants came to America escaping starvation because Rosie O’Donnell had eaten all the food.”
Real Time With Bill Maher, Fridays at 10/9c, HBO
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