To The Daily Sun,
The elephant stands awaiting and the chute is in place. What GOP candidate will announce themselves next? Welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity. In the tradition of Charlie Hebdo, we bring you the best of the ridiculous.
Falling for the "job creators" myth sold by corporate monks, Kansas has had revenue shortfalls, credit downgrades from Moody's, and now has to close public schools down early because they don't have enough money. The inanity of libertarian economics dies again. Governor Brownback has also implied that forcing women to have children is good for the Kansas economy.
Michelle Bachmann is back. She says The rapture has been moved ahead of schedule because, well, it's Obama's fault.
There's bad news for the anti-vaxxer wackjobs. Two more major studies again confirm there is no link between vaccinations and autism. In a fine display of epic cluelessness, anti-vaxxer and organizer Rosemary Woods said, "Let me know when there is a study that confirms what I know in my heart." As Russ Wiles might say, "Isn't it kind of suspicious that every credible study on the subject says the same thing?" Ya think?
Did you see Republican Dog the Bounty Hunter on Fox? The four Fox women were all giddy until he soiled their carpet by saying he supports Hillary and trusts the Dynamic Duo.
Over in the world of religious circuses, the fear mongering propaganda coming from the revival tent meetings. Taking their signals from Huckabee, they claim that legalizing gay marriage will criminalize Christianity. Tortured logic much? Some Christian jihadist blowhards are talking armed revolution if equality wins over the fossilized traditions of religion-based bigotry. In their apoplectic fits (slain in the Spirit) they are calling for the impeachment of the justices who vote for equality. Gay marriage is sure to bring down our civilization. Nasty stuff, that freedom and equality.
Fox News' favorite Catholic Priest, Jonathan Morris, claims we can't have an atheist president because he would not fear God. You mean he might be logical? Wouldn't that be oppressive! Shall we ask Bugs Bunny for a comment on weapons-grade stupid? Did you know that rape and incest can't be verified? Yup, another insane religious conservative has escaped her rubber room.
Tennessee State Rep. Sheila Butt blocked exemptions for rape and incest in the new abortion bill because she claims they are not verifiable. On today's "700 Club," Pat Robertson warned that God will soon remove his hand of protection over America because people are mocking fundamentalist preachers like himself. The old fossil complains, "People mock the word of God and those who proclaim it are laughed at as fundamentalists. Well, we need the fundamentalists because if we don't have them this nation is doomed." Yes, Pat, we need more crackpots who might even believe that 6,000 years ago a talking snake deceived a couple who had no belly buttons to eat some fruit. Pat also gave us five predictions if gay marriage wins. We will be hit with war (revolution!), floods, terrorism, the apocalypse and the anti-Christ! Fox News commentator Todd Starnes, while on Pastor Hagee's show says if gay marriage is affirmed, pastors will end up in jail. For what? Pedophilia? Embezzlement? Sounds good.
America's village idiot, Louie Gohmert appeared on Glenn Beck's television program the other night. He claims Obama won't help the government of Nigeria fight terrorism until the country legalizes gay marriage and abortion.
Also in Texas, where wide open spaces include the heads of Texas lawmakers, H.B. 2510, espoused by Texas State Rep. Matt Schaefer will force a woman to carry a nonviable fetus to term. No, you didn't read that wrong. What could be the reason for bringing a brain dead fetus to term? Well, what better way to create more Texas politicians.
Oklahoma is also a scary country full of wide open spaces. While speaking in the Senate, Kevin Calvey threatened to go across the street and torch himself with gasoline if they passed state Senate Bill 548, which would increase funding to the court system. Why? Because the court has struck down some abortion laws.
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