To The Daily Sun,
Praise the Lord because Canadian citizen Ted Cruz is handing out bottled water to Flint, Michigan, residents. But to anti-abortion groups only. True to the Tea Bag Radical Christian faithful, Ted cares about fetuses, not the children. Welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks where we keep the stupid in the news.
Let's start with Ammon Bundy and his radical Christian militants who took over a federal building. Ammon claims he is doing what the Lord told him to do. Of course he did, Ammon. Bundy leads a group known as Y'all Qaeada, Vanilla ISIS, YeeHawdists. the Cowlifate, Yokel Haram, and Talibundy. The whole country is in stitches as this group took over a wildlife visiting center and then sounded the horn because they forgot to bring snacks. Also known as Meal Team Six, they gave an address for "real Patriots" to send food and supplies to. Watching one of their fearless leaders (Jon Ritzheimer) on YouTube complain about the hateful and ridiculous stuff on the table, which included a box of Ron Jeremy sex toys, was hysterical. All of which were all then sent crashing to the floor which was followed by a lecture about real patriots. Facebook poster Daniel Brewer lamented he couldn't make it to Oregon to fight "the Gubmint" because he hadn't received his disability check yet.
Sarah Palin is back. Just as Ben Carson fades away after declaring the pyramids were built by the Joseph of the Bible to store grain, Sarah is back and Trump is her guy. True to her long record of rambling word salad, it's clear the one thing Sarah hates more than liberals is punctuation. The New York Daily News ran an epic cover with Trump and Palin on it and big block letters saying, "I'M WITH STUPID!" And Sarah Palin's son was recently arrested for punching his girlfriend in the head and running around the house drunk with a firearm. Palin blames Obama. Tea with that?
Do you Nazi? Well, Benjamin Netanyahu does. If one posts anything on the social media that is deemed anti-Isreal, you will be arrested. Governor of Idaho Butch Otter also enjoys doing the Nazi. In a leaked audio he claimed the big difference between the rich and the poor is genetics. "Poor people are genetically inferior."
Last week, John David Weissinger, 54, was sentenced on Tuesday to a year in prison. His crime? After a week of watching Fox News, John sent an email to CAIR using "horrible and evil words" to declare he was going to "kill all of you (Muslims)." He was also charged with possessing an illegal assault rifle. In Montana, protesters came out in force on Monday when the trial of David Lenio was postponed for the second time as prosecutors pondered a deal that would allow him to own guns. His crime? Threatening to kill schoolchildren and Jews. Murica!
In Indiana, parents of students at Plainfield High School were at a community meeting with the FBI and state police to discuss online firearm and bomb threats made against the school when a man with a loaded gun entered the auditorium Tuesday night. Ronald Kendall was promptly arrested on a class 6 felony possession of a firearm in a school. Murica! And here comes Republican Mary Dye. This Washington lawmaker actually interrogated students about their virginity during a "Teen Lobbying Day" visit at her office.
Last week, radical Christian crazies Tony Perkins and Rick Scarborough hosted a "Free to Believe Broadcast." Candidates Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, Marco Rubio and Rick Santorum attended. Totally hysterical was Tent Revival Rick claiming "we're living in the age where the church is fair game, Satan is — the comedians, the media and others take no thought about defaming preachers and defaming the church." The Comedians! More tea?
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