To The Daily Sun,
All Aboard! On Thursday, the Conservative Clown Car embarks on another comedy tour down false memories lane that promises to give us everything from jaw-dropping stupidity to belly aching laughs. Welcome to another Edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity. Here at the Center our crack reporters are teamed up with specially trained dogs to sniff out the best in stupid.
Did you hear what Jeb Bush recently said? Did you think George was the dumb one? Not so fast. In an interview with some religious conservatives Tuesday, Jeb suggested that the federal government had overfunded women's health. Yup, one-thousandth of federal health care spending goes to women's health issues and that's just too much. Jeb has no problem with truckloads of cash for wealthy corporations who ship jobs overseas, but girls? They're just girls!
Over in Christian Taliban La-La-Land, Rick Wiles of Trunews is warning his flock that Jade Helm is paving the way for a "two-month-long Night of the Long Knives," "a round-up of patriotic men," an illegal Obama third term and possibly a nuclear EMP attack. Nukes! Increase your meds, Rick. Somebody certainly believes that conservative fly-soup because yesterday, two right-wing militia crazies opened fire on our Jade Helm troops.
While we are in the land of the hopelessly deluded, hate radio's Michael Savage is convinced Obama will initiate an anti-white genocide. His evidence? He informed his listeners that he had interviewed an elderly Mayan woman who said she had dreams. She had dreams! "Chilling," Savage told his herd of frothing listeners.
Over in Christian Sharia World, Pastor Scott Lively told an interviewer on Dove TV that religious freedom was just for Christians and that's why God is punishing us. Must be a Muslim obsession thingy. Lively as you may know, is on trial in Federal Court for Crimes Against Humanity. He funded and engineered the Death to Gays laws in Uganda and is now paying the price.
You gotta love the Scott Walker spin machine. Not only is Walker (like Jeb) against the minimum wage, Wisconsin boasts the third-worst job growth in the Midwest, a $283 million dollar budget deficit and a median income $800 lower than the national average. In neighboring progressive Democrat Minnesota, the people got a minimum wage raise plus it will be indexed with inflation beginning in 2018. Minnesota has the second-highest job growth in Midwest, a median income $8,000 above the national average, a $2 billion dollar surplus, and the highest economic confidence in the nation. More failed liberal policies! After seeing these Minnesota stats, the consensus here at the center is that we all want to be big time losers. After all, liberals love evil. Right Russ?