To The Daily Sun,
Colors are popping, leaves are falling, rakes are out of their holsters, and we are all close to being tomatoed out after a great growing year. Welcome to the another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity. As you know, we here at the center always do our best to bring you the best of the worst so let's get to work.
First up is our American Taliban winner, National Review columnist Kevin Williamson. Mr. Williamson posted in his Twitter feed that women who had abortions should be hanged. No exceptions. ISIS and al-Qaida have nothing on this guy, eh? Not to be outdone by Mr. Williamson, Wayne Steven Odegard was arrested in Minneapolis for a hate crime that Mullah Omar would be proud of. Mr. Odegard stood outside a gay bar shouting a mixture of curses and biblical scriptures and then shot a couple with his CO2-powered gun.
In education matters you might have heard about the hissy-fits the right-wingers are having over the Advanced Placement History Curriculum in Colorado schools. They don't like that the course teaches students about the civil disobedience that marked some of our more troubling phases. Thousands of students walked out to protest right-wing censorship and indoctrination. Their reasons to scoff were soon confirmed by State Board of Education member Pam Reilley Mazanec's Facebook post when she claimed America was exceptional because it "ended slavery voluntarily." And the South will rise again, Pammy.
Tea Partier and self-lobotomized neurosurgeon Ben Carson says he is likely to run for President in 2016. Comedians couldn't be happier. Carson's latest in a long line of vacuous statements is that if the GOP doesn't take the Senate in 2014, the country will descend into anarchy and the 2016 elections could be canceled. Be afraid! Of course it's rubbish because the GOP faces 25 U.S. Senate contests out of the 33 in 2016 and there is, well, Hillary. The GOP gains of 2014 will likely be reversed in 2016.
America's funniest congressional members are at it again. Michele Bachmann wants Obama to declare war on all of Islam. She also claimed that a government under any other religion but Christianity would be a theocracy. Huh? Isn't Ms. Bachmann one of those who cries wolf about her phony war on her religion of Christianity? Those gay bullies!
Louie Gohmert has proved his comedic worth once again by telling Fox Business host Lou Dobbs that it's political correctness behind Obama sending 3,000 military personnel to help prevent a global outbreak of Ebola. If you have any doubts about the wide open spaces of Texas, he followed with, "the military is not trained to go catch Ebola and die."
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