To The Daily Sun,
I have decided to start awarding a new award every month or so. It will be called the Looney Uninformed Ethnocentric Wackadoodle Award, or simply the LUEW Award. LUEW rhymes with "loo", a British colloquialism for the toilet.
Recipients, must show, in the letters to The Sun a high degree of jingoism and ethnocentrism bordering on the racist. The likely recipients may have to look those two words up. The recipients must show an attitude of radical nationalism and an utter contempt for their fellow human beings, especially those less fortunate than they.
I cannot offer a monetary prize for this award, but it is usually to provide winners of awards with a medal, certificate, plaque, or other trophy. I have decided that the appropriate trophy for the LUEW Award will be a picture of the recipient framed in a plastic toilet seat. I will engrave the toilet seat with the reason for the award and it the recipient so wishes, will present the award at a convenient place and time. I will even provide the hardware and labor if the winner wants me to install it in their home.
I do not like to make these decisions alone so perhaps some others would help me form a committee to select the winners. Perhaps in the future we could expand this to first, second, and third prizes.
Since, however, I had to make the decision on the first award, I am pleased to announce that there was a tie. Linda Riley and Bob Meade will share the award. Their general ignorance of and dislike of foreigners won them this award.
Especially notable was Ms. Riley´s accusing Mexican and Central American immigrants, and not the anti vaccination movement, for the appearance of diseases that we used to have under control. The last time I know of unwanted immigrants causing massive epidemics is when Europeans brought smallpox and measles to this hemisphere, wiping out up to ninety percent of the Native American population.
As for heroin, yes, a lot of heroin nowadays comes from Mexico. But, a lot of Colombian cocaine is shipped by drug cartels to the U.S.A. Most methamphetamine is manufactured in the U.S.A. and almost all marijuana smoked is an American-made product.
Our northern border is probably even more porous than our Mexican border. A lot of white, European immigrants come here and work as nannies for wealthy families in New England and work illegally. I am sure there are some in our own WASP's nests of Meredith and Gilford but I am sure people like Ms. Riley would not recognized them because they are the same color as she. And yes, I also fear for Ms. Riley´s grandchildren, but probably not for the same reasons as she does.
I would like Ms. Riley and Mr. Meade to let me know where and when to present their LUEW Awards. If you have a choice of colors regarding the toilet seat, let me know. If you do not state a color preference, I am going to assume your favorite colors are lily white.
E. Scott Cracraft
- Category: Letters
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