To The Daily Sun,
Love is in the air! Or is it just a lot of blowing snow and perfect powder skiing and riding? Welcome to our Valentine's Day Edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity where we always endeavor to keep the stupid politicians newsworthy.
Poor old Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore is dancing in the cow-patties again. Once again, defying federal court orders and becoming the target of judicial ethics complaints, old Roy told the judges and clerks of Alabama not to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. It didn't work. Showing the world he is another religious fundamentalist who flunked "Thinking 101," Roy has always claimed secular law opens the door to Sharia law. Banning gay marriages IS Sharia law, ya halfwit!
But the fight is not over! In Oklahoma, GOP Representative Todd Russ has a brilliant new idea. House Bill 1126 would end secular marriage licenses and bar all judges and other secular officials from performing marriages in Oklahoma. It is Mr. Russ' goal to just allow "God-approved" marriages because only a religious official could sign a couple's marriage certificate. God must have talked to him, too.
In Virginia, Bud Roth is a court-appointed officiant in Franklin County who also happens to be another faithful nutter. Although Morgan Strong and Tamar Courtney wanted a civil wedding, Roth insisted on marrying the couple in his church and they said agreed to that. But when he found out they didn't believe in God, he refused. These are his recorded words, "Because she's agnostic and you're an atheist. I will not marry you. You don't believe in God ... I just don't marry anyone who does not believe in God or believes that there is a God someplace. So I'm not going to talk the issue over with you and I'm not going to argue about it, okay? I'm just not going to marry you." Murica! Freedumb!
Texas State Rep. Cecil Bell Jr. (R) has had a "I haven't read the Constitution yet" brainstorm to get around the expected Fifth Circuit Court ruling for marriage equality. His HB-623, the "Texas Preservation of Sovereignty and Marriage Act." would prohibit the use of taxpayer funds for the licensing of same-sex marriage, and any employee who violates this restriction would no longer be allowed to collect "a salary, pension, or other employee benefit", a punishable crime. Like Roy Moore in Alabama, Cecil Bell doesn't think the federal courts have any jurisdiction in Texas. Like I said, he hasn't read the U.S. Constitution, yet.
Ah, Christian Sharia. Love is in the air!
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