To The Daily Sun,
It's that time again. Welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity. As you know, we here at the center dutifully strive to keep the highest quality of stupid in the news. As a famous Jedi Knight once said, "the crazy is strong in this one".
First up is this week's Lord of the Flies prize winner. In a discussion on the minimum wage workers who would like a reasonable living wage, Fox business analyst Charles Payne lectured you lowly American workers, saying, "You are stuck in this because somehow you were born with deficiencies that you'll only have a certain skill set, the minimum skill set." If you think that is sick, consider Stephen Steinlight, senior analyst for the conservative Center for Immigration Studies. Speaking to members of the Highlands Tea Party Steinlight said, "We all know, if there ever was a president that deserved to be impeached, it's this guy, alright? ... And I wouldn't stop. I would think being hung, drawn, and quartered is probably too good for him". Murica! Freedumb!
From the Twilight Zone of the Walking Dead cometh Right Wing Christian broadcasters this week. You want deficiencies? We got 'em. Wildman Pastor Rick Wiles is pleased that Ebola has emerged because, he says, "Ebola could solve America's problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography and abortion." No kidding. Wiles notes that having the blood of Jesus on you will protect you. Of course it will, Rick.
Neo-Confederate Pastor Kevin Swanson claims that "radical socialists and communists helped launch the Republican Party and put Lincoln in the White House." This is the same fruitcake that said buying Girl Scout cookies promotes lebianism.
What is an edition of potty tricks without Michele Bachmann? Incomplete! Over on the Pastor Lars Larson's show, Ms. Bachman went on her usual wild-eyed blabberfest by calling for Obama's impeachment and then saying impeachment talk was a plot by Democrats to "help Democrat's electoral chances in the fall." House Speaker John Boehner has said the same thing after suing the president. It's a nefarious plot.
Want more senselessness? Boehner is suing the prez because of his use of executive action but as recently as a week ago, he demanded that the prez take executive action on the child immigrant crisis because the Congress couldn't do their job and is now on vacation. That is rich. His suit against Obama is because he used an executive order to delay Obamacare's employer mandate. This is not The Onion, folks, it's Bobby Jingal's Party of Stupid (his words).
Unfortunately, ignorance and absurdity is not always hilarious. As you all know, the Israeli-Gaza situation is deeply troubling. Hamas keeps shooting rockets at Israel like psychos and Israel has killed a thousand civilians, including reckless bombing of some schools and even a hospital. Hamas is nuts. But recently some Israeli officials have joined them in another episode of "Who Left The Bag of Idiots Open?" In an Arutz Sheva op-ed, Israeli Deputy Speaker Moshe Feiglin made a case for ethnic cleansing in Gaza. Adding fuel to the madness, The Daily Sabah reported Ayelet Shaked of the far-right Jewish Home Party called for the slaughter of Palestinian mothers who give birth to "little snakes." After calling for killing them all and demolishing every house, she added, "They are all our enemies and their blood should be on our hands. This also applies to the mothers of the dead terrorists." Moms, too. Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan asked, "What is the difference between this mentality and Hitler's?" There is none, sir. In other Middle Eastern matters, actor James Woods claimed on his Twitter feed that Obama released the leader of ISIS in 2009. Nope, that was Bush in 2004.
Those with eyes to see and noses to smell have always known the right-wing Benghazi conspiracy letters from Steve Earle, Tony Boutin, Don Ewing, and Russ Wiles were all spastic gushes of right-wing propaganda from start to finish. The ghost of Joseph Goebbels looks down on them with pride.
But listen, we here at the Center for the Study of Absurdity think they deserve a special prize for their heroic time-wasting effort to spread the lies of Fox News and its junkies. The Republican-led House Committee on Benghazi has now just quietly concluded "that no one was deliberately misled, no military assets were withheld and no stand-down order (to U.S. forces) was given." Shucks, boys, you got it all wrong — again.