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Another edition of Tea Party news; you couldn't make this stuff up

  • Published in Letters

To The Daily Sun,

It's that time of year again! It's spring and the Center for the Study of Absurdity staff is springing back into action after covering the CPAC Festival of Clowns and going on a well deserved sunny Crimean cruise vacation. So welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks. Get your fishing poles out and let's go trolling.

First, on our funny pages is Glenn Beck says everything God warned him about is now happening? Huh? Nobody needs a crystal ball to see right-wing causes are biting the granite. Just about everything the Tea Party nutters tried in the legislatures has been undone as unconstitutional. Who wooda thunk it?

Eagle Forum's Harvard-educated Phyllis Schlafly improved her credentials with fossils by telling America that we should increase the pay gap so women will have better opportunities to score a husband. Say what?

Jim DeMint of the Heritage Foundation, who used to be one of the fools on The Hill, wins our alternate universe award this edition for reminding us that the federal government played no role in ending slavery.

Returning to religious lunacy, we present to you Virginia GOP state delegate and candidate Bob Marshall for his claim that disabled children are God's punishment for women who have an abortion. Mike Huckabee, eat your heart out!

Not to be outdone by the toilet-worthy Rush Limbaugh, right-wing pundit Erik Rush is blaming Obama for the murder of three people at two Jewish Centers in Kansas City. Get a grip, stupid!

Following closely in the recent parade of skull-stunted anti-government crackpots is Eagle Forum's Sandy McDade who said on the floor of the Louisiana House the gold stars marking Louisiana's proposed new licenses are like the Star of David badges Jews were forced to wear in Nazi Germany. Nope, you can't make this stuff up. I can prove it.

South Carolina state Senator Mike Fair has recently enlightened us with the fact that LGBT rights are in the same category as skinheads and radical Islam. Excuse me, Mikey, but skinheads and radical Muslims have the same LGBT point of view as you do.

Speaking of being like radical Muslims, former Nevada Sheriff Richard Mack told Fox News Monday, "We were actually strategizing to put all the women up at the front. If they are going to start shooting, it's going to be women that are going to be televised all across the world getting shot by these rogue federal officers." Who is rogue? Both the U.S. and Nevada Constitutions say it's the reverse but, well, you know the grasp of reality found in right-wing nutjobs. Don't worry sane people, Bundy will be in prison before this is over.

In off the charts hilarious, Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality recently entered an auditorium just packed with Sinclair Community College students. At the invitation of the Traditional Values Club, LaBarbera was not the first nutter to be invited by this group. So the students made a plan. They filled the auditorium and planned to walk out as soon as the hate speech began. They did and LaBarbera was floored and humiliated, having just a dozen left to speak to. Oh, I forgot. The National Review Online says we can end discrimination by scrapping the Civil Rights Act.

James Veverka