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Sub-species of snow beast is known for texting while prowling

  • Published in Letters

To The Daily Sun,

Yes, I am one on those idiot joggers who roam the icy corridors that Laconia calls streets. Now let me point out that I wear a reflective, neon-yellow jacket and two strobe lights on when I venture out in to the inky black of night. My preference is running in the day but as the sun will not cooperate with me in the winter time and is determined to take long naps I am forced to be a creature of the night.

Recently while prancing down one of these streets I came nose to nose with a snow beast. Now a snow beast is an impressive creature for sure. It often has sharp chrome teeth, large bright eyes and is very quick on its four feet. This snow beast can often be found prowling the streets both at night and during the day. They are an ornery sort often menacing unsuspecting runners and walkers with their loud honking like growl.

The snow beast that I came across was of an ever growing sub-species known for texting while on the prowl. This particular type of snow beast has a careless almost haunting presence on the road and is known for its lack of concern for other snow beasts and road creatures.

So as I was wandering down one of the many well illuminated roads the other night I stopped and stood on the side of the road to let this snow beast pass knowing the dangers that this type presents. But as I mentioned this type of snow beast is a mercurial sort and he attacked me. As he was giving me a tour of greater Laconia on his hood like nose, I was struck with terror not only for myself but for other more gentle snow beasts. Luckily for me he released me from his icy grip and after getting back onto my feet and realizing I was unhurt was very thankful. After the Beast came to a stop I admonished it, but alas it is a fickle creature of habit like myself and likely will return to its old ways.

I think next fall I will bury all my canned goods in the yard and prepare to wait out the winter in fear of another encounter with a winter snow beast or a car to you non runners.

Matt MacDonald